Manipulate Your Wife Into Sex For Only 29 Bucks!

  • Happy International Women's Day, I guess?

Maybe you’ve been married for a while now. You’ve gotten stuck in a rut. Things have gotten complacent. As a result, you aren’t making love as often as you used to. Sure, you could try communicating more. Or actively wooing your spouse – do the chores they find tedious, clean up without having to be asked, show them you care in a million different little ways.

Or you could get the “Initiate Sex” package from Spinner and manipulate your spouse into wanting to sleep with you.


In a plan that sounds like something out of a Super Villain playbook, Spinner brings the advertising strategy of big companies to the hands of mortal men. For years now big companies have been tracking what we look at, where we shop, what we’re interested in, and marketing their ads to us.

If looking for an affair on websites like Ashley-Madison seems like a step-too-far, you can always employ the manipulation strategies of large corporations like Cambridge Analytica. Strategies that helped lead to the company’s downfall and bankruptcy.

For as little as $29, you could send your spouse a link that would then use the “target’s” demographic and geographic information, gender, religion, psychographic data — like what she purchases and what car she drives — [to] target the specific content that we want to the user,” says Elliot Shefler, vice president of media and social at The Spinner.

Hence they make up headlines and descriptions of articles curated to get your spouse to click. All the articles are very real and encourage women to have more sex.

First of all, morally dubious doesn’t begin to describe this service. Lying to your spouse, intentionally sending them links that will use their web browser cookies to essentially spy on them all with the intent to trick them into sex, is wrong and sickening. If your spouse finds out about the service?

Well, that’s not on The Spinner. “You’re supposed to refer her to the privacy policy and let her know that you are doing it [But] some users don’t do it,” Shefler says. “[If] the user misuses the service and does not let his wife know then it’s no longer our responsibility.”

I usually end these my smiling and offering a more upbeat look at the topic. Due to you getting this service, I hope your significant other I hope she divorces your sorry butt and takes you for everything you own.

Finally, the Spinner’s other services like their “Get A Dog” package that manipulates parents into getting their kids a pet. “Propose Marriage” to manipulate your boyfriend into proposing. “Settle. Don’t Go To Court” to try and get your ex to settle the divorce. “Stop Eating Meat” and “Stop Riding Motorcycles” to convince your loved one they shouldn’t be participating in these activities anymore. “Quit Smoking” “Stop Drinking” and… “Play Slots” to promote gambling?! When did manipulating your loved ones become acceptable?

Big companies are soulless, or at least we’ve been taught to think of them that way. But individuals? Above all, they should be held to a higher standard. Check out the website TheSpinner.Net to see for yourself.

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