1Breast is Best
If you were breastfed, you used to suck on your mom's breasts. That's pretty strange to think about, but it's true.
2Motherhood is Painful
Your exit into the world was hardly graceful.
3You Can't Beat Bates
Happy Mother's Day from the most famous mamma's boy in the world.
4Let's be Real Here
Parenting may suck, but it doesn't swallow.
5She Sure Is
Why say a little when you can say nothing at all?
6It Was so Womby
Your mom gave you your first apartment and you just had to forcefully escape it after only nine months.
7That Had to Hurt
It takes a big man (or woman) to admit the damage they did to their mother's vagina.
8She Could Have Done Worse
There are far worse things a person could do than swear.
9She Had Options
And the fact that you're alive means she chose wisely. Or did she?
10Thanks for the Support
Mother's Day is a perfect time to reflect on what mom really means to you -even if she is only your meal ticket.
11The Things That Go Into Making a Baby
Maybe you could buy her an online kegel class for Mother's Day.
When just showing up is enough.
13Willing to Go the Distance
Love means never having to be too close.