13 Rude Mother’s Day Cards That Are Truly Like No Other

If you were breastfed, you used to suck on your mom's breasts. That's pretty strange to think about, but it's true.

Your exit into the world was hardly graceful.

Happy Mother's Day from the most famous mamma's boy in the world.

Parenting may suck, but it doesn't swallow.

Why say a little when you can say nothing at all?

Your mom gave you your first apartment and you just had to forcefully escape it after only nine months.

It takes a big man (or woman) to admit the damage they did to their mother's vagina.

There are far worse things a person could do than swear.

And the fact that you're alive means she chose wisely. Or did she?

Mother's Day is a perfect time to reflect on what mom really means to you -even if she is only your meal ticket.

Maybe you could buy her an online kegel class for Mother's Day.

When just showing up is enough.

Love means never having to be too close.