1The A-list actor who burned his manhood on the set of a movie
Movie star Channing Tatum is one of Hollywood's biggest box office draws. But according to an interview in June 2015 with Howard Stern on his Sirius XM radio show, Tatum almost lost his manhood for good!
The 35-year-old actor told Stern about the incident, which occurred while he was making The Eagle on location in the chilly Scottish Highlands. During shooting, a PA was running up and down a hill to boil water and would bring it back to the set for the actors to pour down their pants to keep them from freezing.
Unfortunately, the bottle of water Tatum was given still hadn't cooled down by the time the assistant got back to the set. The Magic Mike XXL star poured it down his pants, “started hyperventilating and screaming,” and jumped into a nearby river.
One of the medics who tended to him said the intense pain he was suffering was a “good thing,” because it meant that he hadn't suffered any nerve damage to the area.
Tatum healed by the time his wife came to visit. Happily, they were able to have sex, which he described as, "a little rough, but we got it down."
2The woman who crashed her car while shaving
There are three things you should never do while driving—drink, text, and, for heaven's sake, don't shave your private parts!
In 2010, Florida Highway Patrol reported a two-vehicle crash on the mile 21 marker in the Florida Keys. It was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area. Her ex-husband, a passenger, took the wheel while his wife tidied up.
According to Trooper Gary Dunick, the woman (identified as Megan Mariah Barnes) "was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit.”
But wait! There's more to this story! Barnes wasn't even supposed to be driving—a day before the accident she got a DUI and was nailed for driving with a suspended license.
After the initial accident, Barnes drove another half a mile then switched places with her ex, Charles Judy. However, bruises on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag belied their story.
Barnes was charged with driving on a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident with injuries and driving without insurance. Judy was not charged. Barnes' blades may have been sharp, but her wits were definitely less so.
3The man who sued Starbucks for injuring his schmeckel on their toilet
In August 1999, Canadian tourists Edward Skwarek and wife Sherrie stopped into a Starbucks at 27th Street and Sixth Avenue in New York City. The 37-year-old tourist went to the bathroom, but “the toilet paper wasn't where it was supposed to be. When he reached around, the entire seat shifted and crushed him,” according to the couple's lawyer, Richard Robbins. His penis was caught between the seat and the bowl. “He was in tremendous pain,” said Robbins.
Skwarek claimed that when he told the staff about the incident, they laughed at him. Swarek (aka, ”The Organ Grinder”) was treated at an emergency room and now suffers from Peyronie's disease, which is known to be very painful. He is now also unable to ejaculate.
Skwarek is asking for $1 million in damages from the coffee giant. His wife, Sherrie demands $500,000 because she “has been deprived of her husband's services.”
4The woman who chopped off her husband's penis and threw it in a garbage disposal
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! On July 11, 2011, Catherine Kieu of Garden Grove, California decided to one-up Lorena Bobbitt by drugging her husband, cutting off his willy with a 10-inch kitchen knife, and putting it in a garbage disposal to prevent reattachment.
According to reports, the couple had an argument over dinner about a friend staying with them at a later date. After Kieu had gone to sleep, his wife tied his legs and arms to the four corners of the bed. When he awoke, she pulled down his pants and severed his penis with a knife.
She then put it in the garbage disposal, turned it on and mutilated the heck out of it before calling 911. Her agonized spouse was then taken to the hospital for emergency surgery.
During the trial, the prosecution alleged that Kieu committed the crime because her husband had re-established a relationship with an ex-girlfriend and filed for divorce. Kieu's public defender argued that she had been subjected to sexual and verbal abuse.
In April 2013, Catherine Kieu was found guilty of torture and aggravated mayhem. She was sentenced to life in prison.
5The mother who discovered she had breast cancer after being hit by a baseball
There are several ways of looking for breast cancer—like mammograms and self-exams—but Karen Cooper discovered her cancer after being hit with a baseball.
Cooper suffered the injury while playing with son Zac during a vacation in Mallorca. The next day, the 42-year-old noticed something wasn't quite right while applying sunscreen to the still sore area. She saw a doctor following the incident, who discovered a lump in her breast and was told that it wasn't anything serious. However, after further tests and a biopsy, she found she had aggressive stage three cancer, which can be life-threatening.
After six rounds of chemotherapy, surgery to have the lump removed and a further 15 sessions of radiotherapy, Cooper has been told that her cancer is no longer present. Now, that's one happy accident!
6The man who injured his scrotum at work and stapled it back together
In 1991, Dr. William A. Morton wrote about one of his more bizarre cases in the journal, Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality.
While working in the emergency room, a nurse called Morton in to see a patient that “needed a doctor who takes care of men's problems.” After she left, Morton said that he asked the patient to remove his trousers and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.
To the doctor's astonishment, the patient had a jagged zig-zag laceration that oozed pus He saw some dark objects embedded in the area and asked what they were. The patient told Morton that several days earlier he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples!
After a slew of antibiotics, shots, medical baths and surgery, eight rusty staples were retrieved, and he was pretty much patched back to normal, sans one testicle.
While recovering from surgery, the patient also confessed that he had pleasured himself at the machine shop by holding his penis against the canvas drive-belt of a large piece of machinery. His scrotum got caught between the pulley wheel and the drive belt, and he was thrown into the air, landing a few feet away.
7The woman who was saved by her breasts in a car crash
Sometimes size does matter! In June 2015, Sarah Foster, of Pontefract, West Yorkshire, England, was driving along the M1 motorway to a christening with her partner, Marie, and their children, Steven, and Megan. On the way, they pulled over to a “lay-by” (the part of the road where a driver can stop without interrupting traffic) so Sarah could have a cigarette. Shortly after she got out of the car, a Mini Cooper crashed into the central barrier at 80 mph and veered towards her.
Sarah rolled over the top of the car and ended up lying face down on the inside lane of the busy stretch of road near Peterborough. Miraculously, she survived the impact with minor injuries. But how?
Sarah's life was saved by her size 38JJ breasts—they cushioned her after she was hit by the out of control car. Her massive bosom smashed the windscreen, and she escaped the accident without a single broken bone.
She told The Sun newspaper, “While I was in my hospital bed, the paramedic who treated me told me I was really lucky to be alive and that I should be grateful for my airbags. That was the word she used.”
Sarah considered breast-reduction surgery before the accident, but now wants to keep her natural "airbags."
8The man who died from having his manhood bitten off by rats
When you check into a hospital, you expect to get healthier, right? Poor Arun Sandhukh was seeking treatment for pneumonia in a hospital in Kolkata, New Delhi, India and had his penis chewed off by rats instead.
According to press reports, family members arrived at the hospital for a visit in December 2011 and found him in a pool of blood with no medical staff in sight.
A member of Sandhukh's family told the press that there was "no nurse at the scene, and he was writhing in pain. His penis had been nibbled by rats." The relative also said that hospital staff "admitted (to) the presence of rats in the hospital."
Wow, I'd hate to see that hospital's Yelp reviews!
9The dog that shot its owner in the buttocks
In December 2011, an unnamed man was duck hunting along the Great Salt Lake in Utah with his trusted canine right by his side. The 46-year-old climbed out of his boat to move decoys in the shallow marsh area when his dog stepped on a shotgun in his boat, causing it to discharge. The man was rushed to the nearest hospital. The dog is no doubt a hero to the local ducks.
10The police officer who bit a man's testicles in a bar fight
The motto of law enforcement is “to protect and to serve,” right? Police officer Michael Flaig definitely served himself to a mouthful during a bar fight in Maryland in May 2015.
It all started when the 31-year-old cop, a 10-year veteran of the Anne Arundel County Police Department, started groping a woman at a Cinco de Mayo celebration in Baltimore. The woman's roommate approached the officer and demanded he should stop harassing his friend. Flaig ignored the man's request. Later, the off-duty officer followed him after he left the bar and started walking home.
Once outside, Flaig attempted to punch the man in the face, but he missed. He pulled him to the ground, and sometime during the fight Flaig bit his testicles.
The police officer was suspended and placed on administrative duties. A trial is pending.