Florida Man Asks Cops to Test the Purity of His Meth

  • This case seems like the dictionary definition of taking one for the team.

The best crime stories are generally those where the crook gives the cops a good challenge. But here’s a case that proves that the exact opposite can spin a good tale as well.

Thomas Eugene Colucci, 42, got arrested on drug charges on March 10. The cops busted him after the Spring Hill, Florida, resident called them himself and asked them to test the meth he’d purchased.

But the man does have a heart of, if not gold, then at least some kind of precious metal. You see, he suspected that the drugs he’d bought weren’t what the dealer claimed them to be.

Concerned that the unknown substance could put other drug users in mortal danger, Colucci decided to inform the cops. And if that meant his own arrest, well, he seemed ready to accept it.

There is honor among junkies, after all.

“Thank you for your service to the community. You have the right to remain silent.”

Something’s Not Quite Right

The strange series of events began at a Spring Hills bar, according to Hernando County Sheriff’s Office (HCSF). At the time Colucci was at a local venue, doing what we assume you usually do at a bar.

While there, Colucci met another man who offered to sell him methamphetamine. Colucci, who in his own words is a seasoned junkie, decided to take the man up on his offer.

The illicit transaction took place and the other man handed Colucci two small plastic baggies. They contained a white crystal-like substance — just like a bag of meth should.

Colucci left the bar and went his way to do some of the meth. We don’t know how he did it — nor would we tell you if we knew — but take the drugs he did.

However, Colucci soon started feeling a bit weird. And not the kind “I’m high on meth” weird that he was looking for.

Something was wrong. The drugs weren’t what they were supposed to be.

So, Colucci grabbed his phone. In a move nobody probably would’ve expected, he then called 911 and asked police officers to come by his house and “test the methamphetamine.”

Test My Drugs, Please

The HCSF couldn’t exactly let the bizarre request go unanswered. Deputies arrived at Colucci’s house and the man greeted them, concerned but otherwise jovial.

He told the cops his story about how he’d purchased the drugs and how they didn’t seem right. But how did Colucci know what sensations meth should produce, the cops asked.

The man told them that he was an expert on the subject (pun intended) at hand. Colucci assured the cops that he was an “experienced drug user” who’d done his fair share of meth and “knew what it should feel like.”

If nothing else, you have to appreciate the man’s honesty.

Colucci handed the two drug baggies to the deputies. Despite its appearance, he suspected that the substance might not be meth, but bath salts.

To confirm his suspicions, he asked the cops to give the drugs a field test. Colucci explained that he didn’t want other people to purchase and consume potentially dangerous fake drugs.

And if the drugs indeed were fake, Colucci requested that the cops “put the person [dealer] in trouble.”

Luckily (maybe) for anyone else who may have bought drugs from the same man, the field test confirmed the baggies did indeed contain methamphetamine. At least for the most part.

Nonetheless, the cops asked Colucci to identify the dealer. Unfortunately, he couldn’t — he didn’t even know the guy’s name.

Arrested for His Trouble

With the mystery of the drugs’ nature solved, the cops probably thanked Colucci for his cooperation. Then, they promptly arrested him.

What else were they supposed to do? The man was in possession of illegal drugs that he’d openly admitted he’d used.

There was another twist to the story, though. As the deputies took Colucci to the back of their patrol vehicle, the man suddenly said he was having chest pains.

This story doesn’t end up at a morgue, though. The police officers took Colucci to a hospital where a doctor said there wasn’t anything medically wrong with him.

Colucci, now at the Hernando County Detention Center, has been charged with the possession of methamphetamine and two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. He’s being held at a bond of $7,000.

It seems like a lousy reward for an act that could’ve potentially saved human lives. But then again, Colucci probably knew what would happen if he called the cops — and he still did it out of concern for his fellow drug users.

Got to give credit where credit is due.