Don’t Inject Your Own Sperm Into Your Body, It Won’t Work

  • Or do, and end up like this guy.

Men think highly of their “manhood” and their “juices.” You know, they have the best penis and their sperm is the stuff of Greek Gods.

This guy thought so much of his that he decided to inject himself with it, to rid himself of back pain. But it did not work.

The 33-year-old repeatedly injected himself with his own semen to relieve his chronic back pain. “This is the first reported case of semen injection for use as a medical treatment,” doctors from Dublin wrote in the case study, titled “‘Semenly’ Harmless Back Pain: An Unusual Presentation of a Subcutaneous Abscess.”

(IRISH MEDICAL JOURNAL)

This ‘handmade’ remedy was discovered when he went to the doctor complaining of severe back pain. The doctor examined him and noticed that the man’s right arm was extremely swollen and inflamed.

When the doctor questioned his patient about it, he received an explanation didn’t expect. “The patient disclosed that he had intravenously injected his own semen as an innovative method to treat back pain,” doctors wrote in the study. “He had devised this ‘cure’ independent of any medical advice.”

The man had purchased hypodermic needles online and had been injecting his arm with semen once a month, for the past 18 months. Immediately before visiting the doctor, he said he lifted something heavy and really hurt his back, so he gave himself three doses.

The injection had entered the man’s blood vessels and muscles, and air had gotten trapped beneath his skin. His was hospitalized immediately.

Doctors then treated the man with intravenous antimicrobial therapy. His back pain subsided and he left the hospital within having the infected area drained.

The doctors could not find any other cases of intravenous sperm injection. The study warned that medical experimentation is dangerous and not to inject yourself with anything without a doctor’s approval. Um, duh?

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