- Ever wanted to go to the toilet in your car while enjoying a hot espresso?
Automotive technology is always advancing. Currently, self-driving vehicles are the latest craze, although they still to iron out some kinks in the tech.
This is nothing new, though. Car makers have always tried to come up with new, innovative, and unique ways to make their automobiles stand out from the competition.
Those ideas have resulted in some bizarre cars over the years. Sometimes, however, the whole car isn’t weird — just a single feature of it.
Here are eight examples of the strangest car features ever created. Some were designed for safety, others for convenience, while others… Well, we’re not sure why they exist.
1. In-Car Gramophones
Before music streaming, there were MP3s, CDs, cassettes, and — finally — vinyl. People have always wanted to listen to music while driving but for a long time, you had to rely on the radio.
In 1956, Chrysler decided to change all that. The company introduced the Highway Hi-Fi, the world’s first in-care gramophone.
It was also the world’s last in-car gramophone. Not only was swapping sides on the record while driving a nightmare, but the gramophone’s needle also kept skipping with even the slightest bump.
2. Fiat’s Espresso Machine
The Italians sure love their espresso. That’s probably why, in 2012, Fiat offered the optional “Coffee Experience Kit” with the newly-launched 500L.
That’s right — for an extra $300, you could have an espresso maker installed into the driver’s side dashboard, complete with spoon and sugar holders. For safety reasons, however, the thing would only work with the engine turned off.
Despite that, you’re still driving around with a high-pressure water heating system strapped to the car. Needless to say, the Coffee Experience Kit was discontinued with the 2013 model year.
3. Rim Blow Car Horns
A rim blow steering wheel is actually a good idea. With a rim blow wheel, instead of pressing on the center of the wheel to blow the horn, the horn trigger is embedded along the entire length of the steering wheel rim.
That means you can squeeze at any point to sound the horn. Not having to take a hand off the wheel is undeniably safer.
Unfortunately, the rim blow technology, introduced in 1969, didn’t work very well. The rubber horn trigger tended to either expand or shrink, making it impossible to sound the horn — or triggering the horn permanently.
The last cars with rim blow horns were manufactured in 1974, only five years after their introduction.
4. Water-Filled Bumpers
Water balloon bumpers sound like something from a Saturday morning cartoon. Yet, taxi fleets in multiple U.S. cities tested water bumpers that would burst on impact in the 1960s.
The weird thing is that they kind of worked. They reduced collision damage so much that the taxi companies’ repair bills fell by half.
Unfortunately, the repair savings were eaten up by the outrageous cost of replacing the popped bumpers. They were also prone to freezing in the winter, and so this promising but uneconomical feature disappeared.
5. Speed Chime
Once again, a speed chime that rings when you’re driving too fast doesn’t sound like the worst idea. In fact, some modern cars let you set a speeding reminder like this — but the key thing here is that they’re optional.
That wasn’t the case with the Nissan S-Cargo. There were a lot of things wrong with this snail-like delivery van, but one of the most infuriating was the forced speed chime that came on if you surpassed 60 mph.
It didn’t matter if you were driving on a freeway with higher legal speed limits. Go over 60 and you will be tormented by an endless “BING BING BING BING BING.”
6. The Cadillac Toilet
You really, really need to get to the bathroom, but the next gas station is miles and miles away. In 1947, Cadillac tried to provide you relief with the in-car toilet.
No, this isn’t a joke. They basically installed an outhouse into the back seat.
For some reason, though, it never caught on. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that the thing didn’t block the associated smells and things could splash around on uneven road surfaces.
Really, you’re better off finding a discreet bush you can squat behind.
7. The Volvo Heartbeat Sensor
Sweden must be a very dangerous country. How else do you explain the heartbeat sensor introduced in Volvo’s flagship 2005 S80?
As part of the Volvo Personal Communicator package, the system monitored the car’s back seats for the sounds of human heartbeats. If it detected one, it would transmit the information to the key fob to warn you of an intruder lurking in your car.
Look, we’re not saying whoever designed this feature is a bit paranoid. That’s just because we’re sure they’re listening to us right now and we don’t need another visit from the Volvo Covert Ops Squad.
Hold on a minute, there’s someone at the door…