- Maybe there’s a better design for a rescue robot than a satanic goat demon.
Picture a future where a robot would come to rescue people caught in a disaster. What would the robot look like? Maybe it could be soft and cuddly, like the Baymax robot from Disney’s Big Hero 6.
Or maybe it could look like a caprine emissary of Satan.
Californian robotics company Satyress has gone for the latter approach. Its newest robot doesn’t look anything short of diabolical.
The six-foot-tall pitch-black robot is built like a centaur, with a humanoid torso sticking out of a four-legged body. As if that wasn’t unsettling enough, Satyress chose to give the robot a goat-like head that looks like Baphomet himself.
Granted, its mildly disturbing form factor does give the robot a set of benefits. With four legs, it’s much easier for the emergency response machine to traverse difficult, rubble-filled terrain.
That still doesn’t explain its demonic looks. Or why it comes with instructions for killing it.
Four Legs for Stability
Satyress’ robot is titled ThreeHalves. I couldn’t find out the reasoning behind the name, and something like Goatlord would seem a more fitting title.
But I digress. ThreeHalves is a superhumanoid robot intended for use in disaster areas, dangerous industrial settings, and other challenging environments.
That “superhumanoid” title doesn’t mean this thing surpasses a human being. Instead, it refers to machines that have some human-like elements while deviating or exceeding the human form factor in one way or another. A good example would be a human-like upper body attached to a set of wheels.
In this case, it refers to ThreeHalves’ centaur body plan. The machine sports a humanoid torso with two handless arms, which attaches to a horse-like, four-legged lower body.
Now, this body plan actually gives the goat robot significant advantages in its intended work environment. Although two-legged robots are now capable of performing Kung Fu on stage or going on a hike, they’re still wobbly things that struggle to walk on anything but completely flat ground.
ThreeHalves is significantly more stable than a bipedal robot when climbing over ditches, rocks, and rubble. With four legs, it can also lock itself in place and put its leg actuators to sleep, saving power while remaining firmly anchored.
With the upper body’s human arms, it can then manipulate various tools with great accuracy. For example, Satyress highlights the robot’s ability to carry and use a chainsaw that attaches to ThreeHalves’ wrists with magnets.
Demonic Appearance
Wow, that all actually sounds pretty cool! But let’s address the horrific demon goat in the room: the robot’s appearance.
Why on earth Satyress decided to give ThreeHalves a borderline satanic-looking goat head is beyond my comprehension. Combined with its featureless black shell, tiny glowing eye lenses, and towering six-foot-plus stature, the thing looks less like a robot and more like an evil spirit serving the Lord of the Pit.
Granted, the bizarre design choice has caught the public’s attention (after all, I’m writing about the thing right now). According to Satyress, the goat head also has a practical reason.
ThreeHalves’ purpose is to work in hazardous environments. As such, it has no business entering places where humans want to be, and the large machine could be dangerous to those around it.
So, its large goat horns and wide head are intended to get stuck in narrow doorways and passages, preventing it from entering safe areas.
Be that as it may, you also have to consider that the robot is designed for disaster zones. Its looks might prove a serious hindrance if it ever gets to try and rescue a person.
Just imagine yourself trapped under a collapsed building in the aftermath of some disaster. Suddenly, this infernal goat-shaped beast emerges from flaming wreckage.
Would you feel safe and think rescue is coming? Or would you feel like Satan’s dark angel has arrived to drag you into an eternity of fire and brimstone?
Here’s How to Kill It
ThreeHalves’ appearance isn’t the only eerie thing about it. It’s also a little disconcerting that it comes with instructions on how to kill it.
I’m not joking. A big part of the ThreeHalves website is dedicated to explaining how this thing can be stopped.
On the machine’s back and chest are bladders of compressed air. If these air compartments are punctured with, for example, a knife or a firearm like the company suggests, the escaping air will cause pin locks to snap into place in the robot’s joints.
This, in theory, should bring the demonic goat to an instant stop.
Satyress seems to frame this function as a safety feature. It’s intended to convince you that if anything were to go wrong, ThreeHalves can easily be stopped with whatever you happen to have on hand.
Then again, that also begs the question of what could go so wrong that you’d need to kill the robot? It shouldn’t do anything its operator commands, so why does it have an instant kill option?
We’re not expecting this thing to actually become Devil-possessed, are we?
