10 Stupidest World Records

Gerard Jesse of the Philippines has broken a world record by breaking wind. Mr. Jesse is seen in the video below blowing out 5 candles with a series of farts, aided by a long tube and a very brave friend.

This guy is nuts… literally! Kirby Roy is the recipient of the most painful award on this list—hardest kick to the groin. Mr. Roy survived a 22 mph blow from American Gladiator/MMA Justice Smith, with over 1,100 lbs of force. The video below explains the “science” behind his cringe-inducing feat.

This “talent” may be useful, but it's still a stupid record: loudest scream. For six years, the reigning Scream Queen was Annalisa Flannagan, a teacher in Northern Ireland, who won the Guinness Record in 1994 by shouting “Quiet!” at 120.7 decibels, louder than a jet engine. However, her record was eventually shattered by Jill Drake, a British teacher, who shouted at 129 dB in 2000. Watch (and cover your ears) below:

Andrea Warner, an English hotel manager, used her skills to nab the Stupidest Record for Fastest King-Sized Bed Maker, clocking in at just 74 seconds. This included a fitted sheet, top sheet, two pillowcases, a fully buttoned duvet, and bed runner.

Ok, an argument could be made that bed making or loud screaming could potentially be helpful, but the rest of the records on this list are utterly useless. Fin Keheler, an 11-year-old from Utah, nabbed the Stupid Record for Most Snails on Face. On his 11th birthday, he allowed friends and neighbors to cover his head with the slimy creatures, who stayed there for more than 10 seconds. They sent the record off to Guinness, but even they were too smart to list such a useless achievement.

Sometimes we wonder how anyone even thinks of these contests. Guinness actually does have a category of “Most Watermelons Sliced Open on a Stomach in One Minute.” This record involves using a machete to cleanly slice the fruit in half while a very trusting person lies down and lends their stomach. The current record was set in 2012 by Bipin Larkin and Ashrita Furman in New York, with a total of 48. We'd hate to see what happened to the losers.

Frenchman Michel Lotito has earned his nickname of Monsieur Mangetout ("Mr. Eat-All"). Ever since he was a teenager, he had a knack/desire for eating indigestible objects, consuming things such as bicycles, televisions, and shopping carts by having them chopped into tiny bits; he would eat a little at a time, washing the pieces down with mineral oil and water. But his dumbest achievement is consuming an entire plane, piece by piece. The feat took him two years (1978-1980).

This stupid record really takes the (wedding) cake! In 2007, Jill Kobe presided over 178 canine nuptials, who said “I do” with a bark. The dogs had all met (and presumably fallen in love) in a speed dating session before the ceremony.

Les Stewart was determined to be a world record holder for something but didn't have many talents, except for two: the ability to count and an incredible amount of patience. The result may be the stupidest world record of all time—Stewart typed out the numbers from one to one million. That's right; he typed “one; two; three; four; five; six; seven; eight; nine….” Until he reached “Nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine; one million.” It took him sixteen years, and seven months using seven typewriters, and one thousand ink ribbons on nineteen thousand eight hundred ninety pages (see what he made us do?)

Finally, we'll leave you with the King of all Stupid Records: Ashrita Furman. In fact, he is in the Guinness Book of World's Records for having the most World Records! These include doing 27,000 jumping jacks, running the fastest mile with a baseball bat balanced on his hand, and jumping on the world's smallest pogo stick. In total, he has set 551 records. Ok, some of these are actually pretty impressive. We salute you, Mr. Furman!