1Sanitary Pad Float
Brands, this is why you need to get more women working for you. Not for their skills, wit, and talent, of course, but because women will be able to instantly recognize when a design looks like a period product. Learn this lesson from Swimways, a brand that's managed to create a pool float that looks just like a giant sanitary napkin.
The Aquaria Pasadena pool float has got the same shape as a pad. It's light blue, just like the fake period blood everyone uses in adverts for tampons, and it's quilted for your comfort.
Interestingly, the floating max-pad design is not currently listed on the Swimways website, which leads us to believe that the piss-taking reviews have pushed them to stop making the float and sell the remaining stock through discount stores.
2Kim Kardashian's Butt Shaped Float
Those who have long envied Kim Kardashian for her....assets...can now take one home and float on it in their pool. The reality star has made sure her fans have just what they need to make the most out of the hot weather, which apparently includes selling a pool float that looks just like her famous rear end.
The Kimoji Butt Pool Float is currently available on Kim's site and costs $98. Of course, social media users couldn't help but start talking about the strange inflatable device, with many having a bit of an issue with the price tag.
3Mermaid Tail Pool Float
Boohoo has just unveiled a snazzy pool float designed to look like a mermaid's tail. It's got a ring in which you can sit, with a flouncy inflatable tail upon which to put your feet. It's £25 ($40), is quite clearly designed for Instagram purposes, and you're likely to see it everywhere this summer. Be warned.
Ever since Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris shared a photo of themselves swimming with a giant inflatable swan, everyone wants to float with a very large bird.
5Avocado Pool Float
Thanks to a Kickstarter project by a company called Kool Pool, you could spend your next pool excursion floating on the soft green underbelly of an avocado. And its stone is detachable so you can use it as a beach ball.
6Shell Pool Float
These giant, 67? clams are perfect if you just don't fancy getting your hair wet, or if you want to lay back and relax as others swim around you, and they're big enough for two, meaning there's no need for your friend to buy a matching float.
The shells cost £31.91 and are currently available on eBay. They're going for much higher rates by other sellers, so if you want to save a little cash, it's best to get yours from here.
7InflataBull Bull-Riding Pool Float
For just fifty bucks, you can get the InflataBull, a pool float based on a mechanical bull. But instead of a machine, your friends do all of the hard work by yanking the handles attached to the outer ring to try to knock you off.
Can you last 8 seconds? I bet you can. This won't be as extreme as a real mechanical bull. Now sharks, on the other hand, that's my kind of water rodeo. Not this bunch of bull.
8Bikini Babe And Macho Man Pool Floats
Here are some pretty goofy-ass pool floats sold by Perpetual Kid for $40 a pop. One looks like a bikini babe, the other looks like a macho man. So there we go. The classiest pool floats in existence. Then again, pool floats aren't inherently classy to begin with. In fact, I'm pretty sure that they're inherently not.
9Cockroach Pool Float
If you're a sexy woman who enjoys lazing around in the pool, you'll want this giant, inflatable cockroach. According to the images here, the ladies love to lounge around on a giant cockroach. Kids too, but gals in bikinis seem to love it. Way too much. Cockroach tease.
10Rainbow Wine Float
Floating around on a lilo is all well and good until someone gets thirsty. Then you've got to heave yourself up and paddle your raft to the side of the pool, before schlepping to the kitchen or bar. But that's all going to be a thing of the past because someone's come up with the most ingenious pool-based invention ever—a wine float.
In what is undoubtedly THE must-have accessory of the summer, Funboy has created a magical float which has holes for your wine glasses and a bit in the middle in which you can put ice to keep your bottles nice and cold.