- Well. I mean. It coulda been worse, right?
Florida Man is a busy guy. What’s he doing this week? Stealing pool floats. Why? Well. You may want to be sitting down for this one…
Brevard County Times reported multiple break-ins and pool floatation devices missing. At least 13 burglaries were reported in the Brevard area over the past 7 months. Some areas were damaged, screens cut, in order for the suspect to enter the area with access to the pool toys.
The suspect? Christopher Monnin, 35.
He’d been suspected of the crimes, having been seen in the area. On the night of June 13th, 2019, Palm Bay Police arrested Monnin for suspicious activities. What was Monnin doing? He was innocently riding his bike. However, he did have a white trash bag. Filled with deflated pool floats. At 1:30 am.
After getting the suspect into custody, Monnin admitted to police that he had burglarized several houses. His intent was indeed to steal pool floats. He then led police to a vacant house where he had been stashing them once he was finished with them. There were about 75 in total.
But that still doesn’t explain what he wanted the floats for.
Monnin explained to the police that he was sexually gratifying himself with the floats. Instead of raping women.
Monnin was arrested for burglary of an occupied dwelling and petty theft and booked into the Brevard County Jail on a $15,000 bond.
No word yet on if any of the victims that were burgled from want their property back. But it’d be a pretty strong bet that they won’t.
Other “Florida Man” headlines include “Florida Man punches a woman in the face and bites the neck because she played a joke on him”. And “Florida Man wearing fake lab coast denies pretending to be a doctor after being spotted at several hospitals”. “Florida man refuses to pay for the chicken wings he just ate, then exposes himself”. And of course, “Florida Man Allegedly Set Fire To Tampa Apartment Building Because Management Told Him To Stop Masturbating”.