This Halloween was 100% a let-down. We did our best with pre-portioned grab bags, candy chutes, and socially distanced trick-or-treat tables, but despite our accommodations, we’re still slap-dab in the middle of a pandemic. So it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when only a handful of trick-or-treaters showed up Saturday night.
I bought an optimistic amount of candy for Halloween. And while it was a comfort on Tuesday, stress-eating through the early election results, it’s now a problem. Like family around the holidays. You’re flooded with love and appreciation for your relatives for the first ten minutes of Thanksgiving dinner. Then you’re reminded why you haven’t seen these people since last Thanksgiving.
I’m trying to get rid of this candy. The simple answer is to throw it away. But I’m not a monster. I’m someone trying to exhibit self-control in a lawless and chaotic time. I’ve compiled this list of things to do with your leftover Halloween Candy.
8 Things To Do With Leftover Halloween Candy
Someone was going to say it anyway, so yes, you could keep plugging away at the five-pound bag of fun-size candy bars like a beagle left alone in the kitchen at Thanksgiving.
I do this with a half dozen boxes of Thin Mints every year. The hope is, I’ll forget about the last box, or two and months later, during the Girl Scout Cooke Drought, I’ll discover them and know joy again. It doesn’t work, but it’s a quaint idea. Mini candy bars might be easier to hide behind all those frozen bananas for that banana bread you’re going to make any day now.
It doesn’t address the core issue, but chopping up Snickers and dumping M&Ms into cookie batter transforms the problem, which is almost as good as a solution.
The USPS could use your patronage, and your friends, both near and far, could use a care package. They may be getting rid of leftover Halloween candy, too. You might even get a care package back–this one with different candy.
If you’re trying to raise a supervillain or serial killer, you can always take your candy and kid to a buyback event. There, a sociopath will take your candy and, in exchange, give you a toothbrush and toothpaste. 0/10 recommend, but it is technically an option.
American troops are stationed all over the world, including Iraq and Afghanistan. There’s probably not much to look forward to beyond when they can come home. Operation Gratitude sends care packages to deployed troops and veterans.
Put In In Your Coffee
This idea is big on the blogosphere, and I’m not condoning it. Because it seems like all you’ll get is chunky coffee and a wet candy bar. Maybe it works with Hersey Kisses? I don’t know. Do what you want.
Put Them in Pancakes
One blog literally recommended putting Red Hots into homemade applesauce because it’s “like cinnamon.” The internet has gotten out of control for many reasons, but ideas like that aren’t helping. However, chopping up candy bars and putting them in pancakes is just genius, 10/10 good idea.