- Two male snakes crashed through the ceiling of a Queensland home while fighting over a female.
- David Tait, inexplicably, will continue to live in that very same home.
First off, consider: In Australia, you can have more than one giant python living in your ceiling and not know it. The homeowner, David Tait, was thankfully not home on Monday when two male carpet pythons fell through his kitchen ceiling. He noticed chunks of plaster on the table and floor and started a proper investigation. His first instinct was just water damage (oh, such innocence), “I knew we hadn’t had rain,” Tait told the local news, “so I looked around to find what had caused it.”
An Actual Horror Scene
That’s when the nightmare kicked into high gear. Two snakes, both over eight feet long and weighing a combined 100 pounds, were cruising around the house. A professional snake catcher, Steven Brown, later came in to arrest the culprits. Kidding, he catches and relocates snakes. He believed the two were fighting over a female who, and this is truly awful, “was nearby in the roof.” He couldn’t find a third snake–he told CNN, because “there was no crawl space between the roof and the ceiling.” Cool, so it’ll just fall through on its own at some point?
According to experts, this species, the carpet python, is non-venomous and non-aggressive if you leave them alone. That is a bold stance to take for an animal who falls through the ceiling in other peoples’ homes. But Australia is just filthy with the creepy crawlies. Snakes and spiders, venomous and otherwise, seem to be an acceptable part of life down there. It’s impressive how Australians take it in stride, gently move the things, and carry on with their day.
In the states, the only acceptable solution to pythons falling through the ceiling would be to burn down the house and start over again. There’s no way to know how long the pythons were in the ceiling–but Snake Wrangler Steven made a super-disturbing observation about the pythons’ health.
“Both these snakes were two of the fattest snakes I’ve seen, as in the amount of muscle they had. Very well-fed.”
Well-fed on what? What other horrors will Tait’s ceiling produce now that the snakes aren’t around to eat them?