- So many weird riddles to add to your day.
How fun are weird riddles? Let me know what you think of these!
What did the wig say to the head?
I’ve got you covered.
What is big and purple and lies in the sea?
Grape Britain.
What kind of story is the story about the three little pigs?
A pigtail (pig tale).
What would you call the life story of a car?
An autobiography.
If there was no food left, what could people do?
Country people could eat their forest preserves and city people could eat their traffic jams.
What would happen if you swallowed your knife and fork?
You would have to eat with your hands.
Until I am measured, I am not known. Yet how you miss me, When I have flown. What am I?
Answer: Time.
How much dirt is in a hole that’s two feet by three feet?
Answer: None, it’s a hole.
43: What begins with an “e” and only contains one letter?
Answer: An envelope.
What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don’t want to use it?
Answer: An anchor.
You see me once in June, twice in November, and not at all in May. What am I?
Answer: The letter “E.”
What word in the dictionary is spelled incorrectly?
Answer: Incorrectly.
Where does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
What occurs when two oxen bump into each other?
An oxident (accident).
Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?
Because they were Wright (right).
What is black and white and red all over?
A skunk with diaper rash.
What part of a clock is always old?
The second hand.
When do princes become kings?
Mostly in April, when the rains (reigns) begin.
Why are men going bald at an older age these days?
Because they’re wearing their hair longer.
Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
Because if they travelled slowly, they’d be known as slow-i-canes.
Why do people laugh up their sleeves?
That’s where their funny bones are.
What did the January calendar girl say to the February calendar girl?
“I have more dates than you do.”
What did the stocking with the hole in it say to the shoe?
“Well, I’ll be darned.”
What happens to tires when they get old?
They are retired. What a dad joke! What do you think of this as one of the weird riddles?
What did the shirt say to the pants?
“Meet me at the clothesline.”
Why do statues and paintings of George Washington always show him standing?
Because he would never lie.
What did one invisible man say to the other invisible man?
“It’s nice not to see you again.”
What do hill people cook their food on?
A mountain range.
What is a banged-up used car?
A car in first-crash condition.
What is black and white and red all over?
A sunburned zebra.
How do you buy things in Mexico?
The same way you buy things anywhere else. This is one of the worst of the weird riddles.
What radio has a crew cut?
A short-wave radio.
When do your car’s brakes work best?
In the morning when it’s breakfast (brake fast) time.
What is the difference between a man and a running dog?
One wears trousers, the other pants.
What is black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
Which person can jump higher than a house?
Anyone. A house can’t jump.
How do they drink water in the South?
From Dixie cups.
What are the three swiftest means of communication?
Telephone, telegraph and tell-a-secret.
When do the leaves begin to turn?
The night before a test.
If fish lived on land, where would they live?
In Finland.
Who invented the telephone?
The Phoenicians (phone-itions).
Why did the girl tear a page off the calendar?
Because she wanted to take a month off.
What Spanish name opens the Star Spangled Banner?
Jose (Oh, say can you see).
Why did the man keep a ruler on his newspaper?
Because he wanted to get the story straight.
If a papa bull eats three bales of hay and a baby bull eats one bale, how much hay will a mama bull eat?
None. There is no such thing as a mama bull, it’s called a cow.
What does a dog get when it graduates from dog school?
A pedigree (a pet degree).
What does a farmer call a steer that he borrows and has to return?
A stereo (steer he owes).
What is an ultimate?
The last person you marry.
What kind of clothing does a pet dog wear?
A petticoat.
What did one faucet say to the other faucet?
“You’re a big drip.”
Why did the girl sit on her watch?
She wanted to be on time.
What do you call someone who carries a dictionary in his jeans?
Smarty pants.
Why are Boy Scouts chubby?
Because scouting rounds a guy out.
These are pretty good, wouldn’t you agree? For more, watch for Are These Some Weird Riddles: Part Two.