- There are other puns you could make with “seagull,” you know.
It’s a small world. Somewhere out there is somebody, or likely several people, who share the same name with you (unless your parents cursed you with something like X Æ A-Xii).
That’s true even for criminally-minded birds.
Two stores in U.K. cities 195 miles apart are struggling with a bizarre issue. At both establishments, a thieving seagull keeps breaking in and stealing things.
In one store, the screeching criminal has specialized in stealing bags of chips exclusively. The other one’s tastes aren’t as discriminating and it has grabbed everything from baked goods to newspapers.
Yet, the birds have one thing in common — the owners of the stores they terrorize have nicknamed them “Steven Seagull.”
A nod to the achievements of a famous actor or a case of total creative bankruptcy? You decide.
Six Years of Thievery
The Lyndale Central store is located in Wyke Regis, a village by the picturesque sandy beaches of the West Dorset Heritage Coast. For years, however, the shop has been the victim of an ongoing crime spree.
The owner knows very well who the culprit behind the never-ending shoplifting is. It’s Steven Seagull.
“Trying to explain to the powers that be that I’ve got stock loss because of a seagull — they think it’s a joke,” the store manager Stuart Harmer told the BBC.
And indeed, there has been a significant loss of inventory. According to Harmer, the bird has stolen around 30 bags of ships in the last two months alone.
“[The seagull] comes in the shop when the doors open, puts his head around the corner of the door, nicks a packet of [chips], and flies off with it,” said Harmer.
After making off with his prize, Steven Seagull will place the chip bag on the ground and rip it open with his beak. He’ll then feast on its contents and even allows other birds to have their fill, too.
At least he’s got a little bit of a Robin Hood thing going on.
Harmer said that Steven is particularly fond of beef barbecue-flavored chips. The bird is smart enough to have learned what kind of bag its favorite chips come in and can seek them out.
Harmer noticed that when he tried deterring the bird by swapping the most easily reachable chip bags with spicy flavors. The seagull ignored them and went straight for the barbecue ones.
There’s a sign outside encouraging customers to shut the store’s door, but it doesn’t do much good.
“If the door’s shut then he will bang his beak on the door to open it,” said Harmer.
A Croissant and the Paper
To find the second thieving seagull, we must travel to northern Wales. Here we find Bangor, the oldest Welsh city located by the Isle of Anglesey, and the Late Stop 24 store, owned by Bipin Chawla.
Much like Harmer, Chawla is dealing with a nuisance bird — whom he, too, has named Steven Seagull.
Granted, Chawla admits he doesn’t actually know if the seagull is Steven or Stephanie. But hey, it’s a joke name anyway.
This seagull isn’t as much of a career criminal as its southern counterpart. It seems the bird has turned to a life of crime relatively recently.
According to Chawla, the seagull first struck last summer.
“In the early hours of the morning, we tend to get a lot of seagulls outside the store,” Chawla explained to the BBC.
“We had croissants by the front door, and it was coming in every day, three or four times a week, and it was quite novel and we filmed it.”
As winter rolled around, however, Steven Seagull disappeared. But just as Chawla thought the bird was gone for good, it came back.
This time, however, it wasn’t hungry for food, but the latest news. The seagull stole the morning’s copy of The Cambrian News.
“I think it was the most convenient thing it could pick up. It grabbed it quite efficiently,” said Chawla.
Although the seagull hasn’t stolen anything since, Chawla and his staff have seen it lurking outside the store.
“We are expecting him to come in again. I think all the staff have taken to him,” he said.