- The man really likes his dogs… And has nothing but contempt for his citizens.
Do you like dogs? Do you really, really like dogs? Are you so completely obsessed with a single dog breed that you erected a giant solid gold statue of it?
If you answered no, good news – you’re probably not completely off your marbles. But the same can’t be said about the president of Turkmenistan.
Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov has ruled the Central Asian country since 2006, and he loves Alabai dogs. In fact, he’s so crazy about the shepherd dog breed that he just declared a new national holiday in their honor.
From now on, on the last Sunday of every April, the people of the ex-Soviet nation will praise the Alabai breed for all its done, reported The Pigeon Express. Turkmenistan has a centuries-old herding tradition, and the dogs have definitely come in handy over the ages.
President Berdymukhamedov’s son, Serdar, is the head of the international Alabai dog association. He told local news outlets that the new holiday would feature a beauty contest and agility competitions, among other things.
It’s a bit odd to have a public holiday for a dog breed, but hey — the good dogs have definitely earned it.
He Likes Dogs… A Bit too Much
That said, Berdymukhamedov’s obsession with the Alabai doesn’t end with the holiday. And it certainly didn’t start with it, either.
Ever since his ascension to power, the president has lavished a whole variety of outlandish commemorations on the dogs. Perhaps the most striking example is the statue we mentioned.
In Turkmenistan’s capital Ashgabat stands a gilded statue of an Alabai dog. Unveiled in 2015, the 19-foot tall statue’s stand features an LED screen displaying videos of the breed’s accomplishments, according to the BBC.
At the unveiling ceremony, one lucky boy received his very own Alabai puppy. Any kid would probably be overjoyed about getting a dog, but that probably applied double here – the Alabai is an officially listed as Turkmenistan’s national heritage, after all.
Berdymukhamedov has also used less formal channels to tell his country – and the world – how much he likes the Alabai. In 2014, he wrote a book about the dogs, for example. He has also written songs – including raps – about the Alabai.
Is it just us, or is this getting a little creepy?
One Weird President
Well, if Berdymukhamedov creeps you out, you can thank your lucky stars you don’t live in Turkmenistan. You see, behind that dog-loving façade lies a sinister truth.
Ever since he caught the reins of power, Berdymukhamedov has been Turkmenistan’s arkadaq, or Protector. Does that title sound a bit dictator-ish to you? It should, because that’s exactly what it is.
In Turkmenistan, Berdymukhamedov doesn’t dictate the law – he is the law. Over the last 15 years, the president has cultivated a pervasive cult of personality, with no one allowed to criticize him or his decisions.
And that has left him free to indulge in his eccentricities that reach far and wide beyond extolling a dog breed. For example, he has also erected a statue of himself.
Also clad in gold, the riding statue of Berdymukhamedov is also located in the capital city. It’s a bit bigger than the dog statue, though – the president’s horse stands on top of a 50-foot artificial cliff.
Berdymukhamedov also has an affinity for sports cars both modern and vintage, he DJs as a hobby, and – according to Business Insider – in 2018, he flexed his muscled in the Turkmen parliament. By lifting a gold bar over his head.
He is also apparently a medical genius. In December 2020, he went on record claiming that licorice root was the cure for COVID-19.
“Scientists from every country are looking for effective cures, running various studies, and one of them could be licorice root,” Berdymukhamedov said according to Daily Sabah.
He went on to claim that licorice stops the coronavirus from developing and that Turkmenistan has ample supplies of the botanical. That’s probably why Turkmenistan officially has zero cases of the rampaging virus.
Never mind the fact that the UK ambassador to Turkmenistan caught the virus while in the country.
Ruling with an Iron Fist.
In case you’re still thinking Berdymukhamedov is a weird but ultimately harmless ruler, think again. The Human Rights Watch has called Turkmenistan “one of the world’s most isolated and oppressively governed countries.”
Despite the president’s opulent lifestyle, most of the Turkmen populace lives in poverty. That might be because Berdymukhadov keeps wasting the country’s fund on weird vanity projects.
Case in point, he decided that the country needs a $1.5 billion world-class tourist resort – even though getting a visa is borderline impossible for a foreigner. Oh, and the resort was also built in an area that’s for most of year is too cold for swimming, and the beaches are infested with snakes.
So why was it built? Because the president said so, that’s why.
Berdymukhadov controls every aspect of his subjects’ lives. Press freedom is nonexistent, as is internet access. Social media sites are universally blocked.
Turkmen citizens need an exit visa to leave the country and getting one is nigh impossible. The president even controls how people get married – although it’s not an official law, everybody gets wed in front of a giant photo of Berdymukhamedov’s face.
No one may criticize the president. Or, well, sure they may – if they want to find themselves shipped off to do forced hard labor.
There are elections in Turkmenistan, but they’re just for show. In 2017, Berdymukahmedov apparently received 97% of the vote, securing his third term. Oh, and a year earlier he had changed the constitution to allow himself to reign indefinitely.
At least Turkmenistan’s dogs get to live comfortable lives. For now.