1A Playground Slide
In 2015, Christopher Johnson, 46, was arrested for sex with a slide at a local playground in Coventry, U.K.
This latest infraction is not his first time at the rodeo. A year earlier, he was arrested for “undressing and performing a sexual act on the top of a slide at Coundon Hall Park in Waste Lane, Keresley.” He is now banned from anyplace that has a slide — as he should be.
In August 2016, Dayton, Ohio resident Michael Henson was busted for having sex with a van. A woman saw Henson pull his shorts down and place his genitals in the front grill of the vehicle parked on her street. He later passed out in a nearby yard, and that's when she called the police. Henson appeared to be intoxicated and was booked into the Montgomery County jail.
3A McChicken Sandwich
You may not want to Google #McChicken. Just because I said that you're probably going to, aren't you? I'm serious — don't! Unless that is, you're itching to see someone have sex with a sandwich.
This hashtag was trending in late August 2016 for what people thought was for promotional reasons. However, those who clicked on the related links did not find a promotion or coupon. Instead, they were faced with an explicit video. Responses to the video are what propelled it to be a top trending topic on both Facebook and Twitter, with most people expressing disgust. Celebrities like Seth Rogan and Chrissy Teigen even had something to say about the #McChicken fiasco.
I really hope that Sausage Party in no way inspired this #McChicken thing.
— Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) August 29, 2016
I wanted a mcchicken but u all fucked it up with that video. It'll now take me 6 days to forget and order it again.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) August 29, 2016
What the....? A man was caught on camera having sex with the road in the middle of the day in 2016.
We can't make this stuff up! Bewildered office workers filmed him thrusting his bare hips into the ground outside their office building in New Zealand. Weirder still — the footage shows a second man crouching on all fours beside a van and watching the disturbing scenes from close range.
Somewhere in China, a man was caught having sex with a drainpipe in May 2016.
In a video posted online, the man approaches the pipe and quickly pulls his trousers and underwear down. He then huddles up against the inanimate object and makes thrusting movements against it with his arms pressed up against the wall. He appears to look directly at the CCTV camera but doesn't seem too concerned about being caught. Of course, the video has since gone viral.
A man in Walpole, MA, wearing only a ski hat, ski goggles, and a towel, ambled down to his mailbox in 2014, dropped his towel (the only thing he was wearing), and began thrusting his hips in the direction of his mailbox.
Norfolk County Agricultural High School teacher Marc Mertz was spotted humping the mailbox by a female neighbor. When police showed up, Mertz denied everything at first, but then reportedly confessed. He was arrested on charges of gross lewdness and disturbing the peace. Needless to say, he was also placed on administrative leave.
7A Picnic Table And An ATM
In 2014, Lonnie Hutton, 49, walked into the Boro Bar and Grill in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, and up to an ATM. He pulled down his pants and underwear, exposing his genitals, then attempted to have sexual intercourse with the bar's cash machine.
He wasn't done even when officers found him. He was still nude from the waist down when he was taken outside and told to sit at a wooden picnic table. He then "exposed himself again and engaged in sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table."
Hutton was later charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.
8A Lawn Chair
A drunken Seattle woman wandered nude into a family's yard and began having sex with their lawn chair. The 33-year-old female was “extremely intoxicated." She staggered onto the lawn, hiked up her dress and just went at it. After banging the chair, she urinated and exposed her genitals and butt to the family watching. Police were called, and she was arrested for indecent exposure.