- Because being a parent is one of (if not the) hardest jobs in the world...
For many, independence is the child’s ability to take care of oneself. But let’s face it. Until the age of 18 (or even older), today’s children do not have to earn a living, worry about where to live and what to eat. But if they are not taught independence, how will they take care of their children?
This can be solved in one way: the independence of the child should become a necessity. Even if life is easily maintained without the help of a child, and parents can use a findmykids app to be always aware of where their kid is, it makes sense to transfer some responsibility for household chores to a child. For example, a ten-year-old girl can take care of her clothes: put clean ones in the closet and dirty ones in the laundry.
Independence Breeds Self-Confidence
Children to whom parents do not transfer more and more responsibility for everyday affairs become:
- demanding
- insecure,
- prone to depressive experiences,
- intolerant of any unpleasant but necessary effort.
And vice versa, the more a child does something on one’s own, the stronger their self-confidence becomes, despite mistakes and failures. This is how experience becomes the driving force.
However, a kid cannot suddenly become independent. Like any other quality, independence develops from childhood. The key concept for the development of independence is evolution. Tomorrow, a kid will take one more step than today. So, here are the main components that become the foundation of the independence of a child:
1. Parental confidence
For the independence of the child to develop safely, parents need to be confident in the strength of the child and the desire to make them more independent and strong.
2. Parental support
Children begin to show their independence earlier than parents are ready for it. At this moment, it is very easy to ruin its sprouts. You can say, “Let me better do this”. Or you can make it clear to the child with one dissatisfied look that their actions only create problems.
When we do something for a child, a kid often tries to show one’s own activity. These actions are still not persistent enough to turn into some kind of result. But if you notice and support it in time, it will become another step towards the development of independence.
3. Skill development
The personal example of parents is not always enough. Sometimes overly active mothers and fathers create situations in which the child does not need to be active. Therefore, if you want to teach a child something, first slow down your pace. And be prepared for the fact that independence develops in several stages.
4. Setting correct boundaries
For children to show their skills, they must be put in a situation where they are forced to do this. Setting a boundary, in this case, is a message to the child, “What you can do yourself, I will not do for you”.
5. Formation of the image of an independent person
It depends only on us whether the child will grow up as an independent personality. Initially, kids do not think about it, their idea of themselves is formed from their experience and relationships with other people. Kids usually do not behave like their parents expect them to behave.
Therefore, form a positive image and note their actions and behavior. For this, use not just the praise and words like “well done” or “clever”, but say in detail what kind of behavior you like, “I see that today you have done your homework on time,” and “You have put your things in the closet so neatly.”
Hopefully, our recommendations will be useful, and you will soon notice the change in the behavior of your kids.