- He will suffer no competition for ladies’ attention, real or imagined.
Animals can be destructive around vehicles. Squirrels or rodents might chew through your wiring, or a bear could break into the vehicle and eat the upholstery.
Birds, however, shouldn’t be able to do much more than poop over your car. Right?
Well, tell that to the residents of Rockport. For the last couple of months, a mysterious vandal has been damaging cars around the seaside town.
The culprit had managed to break the side mirrors and windows of more than two dozen vehicles without anyone catching a glimpse of him. That’s because the ruffian could quite literally fly away.
It turns out that the acts of vandalism are being carried out by a randy woodpecker. Mating season has turned the male bird extremely territorial, leading to him attacking any potential rivals — including his own reflection in car mirrors.
The local residents are being shockingly good sports about the whole thing. Nobody seems to be angry at the woodpecker, and people even think it’s kind of adorable.
After all, the bird is just hopped up on hormones and doesn’t know any better.
Mysterious Vandalism
Rockport, Massachusetts, is usually a quiet town sitting on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean. Since early spring, however, strange things have been afoot in the town.
Starting in late February, somebody started vandalizing cars around Rockport. When leaving for work in the morning, people started finding that someone had broken their cars’ side mirrors or windshields.
It wasn’t just a couple of isolated incidents, either. To date, at least 25 vehicles have fallen victim to the vandal.
Yet, one of the strangest things was that nobody had spotted anything or anyone suspicious, nor did the culprit leave any traces or clues around the vehicles. It was as if he could descend from the skies, break a mirror, and then fly away.
Turns out, that was exactly what he was doing. That’s because the vandal is not a person but a male pileated woodpecker.
Caught Red-headed
Rockport resident Janelle Favaloro, 59, was one of, if not the first person in town to identify the rampaging car vandal. After both mirrors of her car got smashed, she at first suspected her husband, who in turn blamed their son.
However, then Favaloro’s brother-in-law’s car, parked next door from her house, got vandalized as well. This time, she saw the culprit perching on top of his car.
That prompted her to denounce the woodpecker on Facebook.
“There has been a vandal breaking vehicle mirrors. He is described as 18″-24″ tall, wearing black and white, with a red hat,” she wrote in a now-deleted post.
Soon, comments from her neighbors started pouring in. Now that they knew what to look for, the woodpecker turned out to be the connecting factor between all damaged cars.
It was the same woodpecker, too. The bird has very distinctively shaped red stripe on his left cheek, making him easy to identify.
Like a Hammer
But why is the woodpecker attacking cars? Well, that’s because he’s horny, and he doesn’t want any male competitors going after the lady woodpeckers in the area.
Male pileated woodpeckers become extremely territorial when their springtime mating season comes around. They will attack any other males of their species on sight to drive the unwelcome rival away from their turf.
This woodpecker has claimed a part of Rockport as his turf. However, his bird brain can’t tell the difference between a real rival and his own reflection.
That’s why he’s attacking and smashing car mirrors and windows. He sees himself in them, thinks it’s a competing male, and charges in to give the intruder what for.
“They’re a ferocious bird, and they’re really strong. It’s the biomechanical equivalent of a hammer,” Matthew Fuxjager from Brown University told the New York Times, describing the force of the woodpecker’s peck.
‘Makes You Smile’
The mating season of pileated woodpeckers can last until, so the rampaging bird probably won’t stop attacking cars any time soon. Shockingly, however, locals aren’t too bothered by the woodpecker or the damage he’s causing.
“It’s wildlife, so you can’t really do a whole lot about it. But I think you just have to look at it with a sense of humor,” Favaloro told People.
Trying to protect their cars, Rockport residents have started folding their mirrors or covering them in towels or plastic bags. Still, even those who cars have already been vandalized, don’t really mind.
“Anything that makes you smile is worth it,” mused Terry Fancis, 74.
As long as insurance covers the damage, we suppose. All that said, Favaloro doesn’t believe the bird’s streak of hooliganism will help him score.
“This is not really the best way to attract a mate. I don’t think the women are going to be impressed,” she quipped.