- Today’s bootleggers haul underground burgers instead of moonshine.
When it comes to fast food hamburgers, the Californian In-N-Out chain typically ranks toward the top in popularity. That’s despite the franchise not having any locations east of Texas.
And even if there is an In-N-Out in your town, you’ll have to drive to it. The company is infamously stubborn about not doing delivery in any way or form.
Want your burger? Get to the drive-through.
Sometimes, though, you just really can’t be bothered to go pick up your food in person. And as the laws of the free market have taught, when there’s demand, somebody will step in to supply it. Even when doing so means breaking the rules.
In-N-Out’s no-delivery stance has spawned an unusual black market in California. Independent “burger brokers” will happily drive to an In-N-Out, place an order, and deliver it to you – for an exorbitant delivery fee.
Would you be brave enough to trust a burger delivered by a completely unaccountable stranger? Let’s take a look at California’s (sesame) seedy underbelly.
I know In-N-Out buns aren’t seeded. I just really wanted to make that pun.
Black Market Burger Brokers
So, In-N-Out simply doesn’t deliver. The company isn’t active on Uber Eats, DoorDash, or Grubhub. Neither does it have its own delivery service.
But people want In-N-Out, and they want delivery. And if In-N-Out won’t deliver, somebody will do it for them.
These people have become known as burger brokers. Essentially, they’re underground delivery drivers who operate independent of any popular food delivery platforms.
But if they’re not on Uber Eats or DoorDash, how do you find these burger brokers? Just take a look at whatever online trading platform.
The most popular way for burger brokers to advertise their services is Facebook Marketplace. However, they can crop up elsewhere as well. They’ll usually take payments over the most common payment apps, like Venmo, Zelle, or PayPal.
Should you hire a burger broker, though, be ready to dig deep. With no oversight and a limited number of drivers, they can charge pretty much whatever they want.
Some of them are more or less reasonable, asking for a $10 delivery fee. But some want a lot more, and the fees can climb up to $50.
You have to wonder if the burger is worth it at that point.
Inherent Risk
You should be cautious about hiring a burger broker, though. As many unlucky hungry Californians have found out, their services are fraught with risk.
These are random people who have decided to start delivering food independently. There’s no company to supervise them, and they’re, by the book, not even supposed to be delivering In-N-Out because the company doesn’t do that.
If your order gets to you cold, items are missing, or someone’s taken a big bite out of your burger, you can’t complain to anyone. You could send an angry message to the driver, but what do they care? They already got your money.
In fact, you could count yourself lucky if you get your delivery at all. Burger brokers are often notorious for demanding partial or full payment up front before they even get in the car.
Once you’ve paid, the broker might simply decide that they don’t feel like doing a delivery run after all. Or maybe they’ll go but eat the burger themselves while they ignore your further message.
Meanwhile, you’ll be stuck sitting there with an empty stomach, wondering what happened to your meal. And there’s no one to turn to for help, since neither In-N-Out nor Facebook Marketplace (or any other online sales platform) is responsible for your underground delivery deal.
‘In-N-Out Experience’
We’ve established that people obviously want to get In-N-Out delivered, so much so that they’ll hire a shady underground dealer to do the delivery. That begs the question: why doesn’t In-N-Out deliver?
According to the company, part of the reason is the fact that In-N-Out markets itself as an “experience” instead of being mere fast food.
“Part of what makes In-N-Out and the experience so special is the interaction and the customer service that we’re able to give,” In-N-Out CEO told KTLA.
Additionally (in a move that seems a little paradoxical for a fast food firm), In-N-Out prides itself on freshness. The company doesn’t think that a lukewarm burger and soggy fries that have spent 40 minutes in the delivery car can give the customer the flavor explosion they seek.
And you know what? That’s fair enough.
Finally, a botched delivery would reflect badly on In-N-Out, even if it wasn’t the company’s fault. In-N-Out simply doesn’t seem to trust delivery drivers, whether they’re affiliated with a delivery app or not.
The remaining question is, will you?