- From a literal victim of his success to a fatal encounter with a tuber, there are many odd ways you can die.
The loss of human life is a tragedy, but it does make for a good story. Some of the most popular tales ever written are absolutely littered with cruel and unusual deaths.
However, you don’t need to go into the realm of fantasy to find bizarre ways to die. Some people die in just such odd or, frankly, ridiculous ways that they go down in history.
Here’s a collection of eight weird deaths from the historical record.
1. Smothered in Gifts
Ever wondered why we call unnecessarily harsh laws “draconian?” That’s because of Draco of Athens, an ancient Greek lawmaker who wrote the first Athenian constitution. Under his brutal laws, even the slightest crime earned the perpetrator the death penalty.
Despite his seeming cruelty, the people loved Draco for at least putting an end to judges arbitrarily meting out justice. In 620 BC, Draco reportedly gave a well-received speech in Aegina.
The crowd responded by showering him with fancy clothes, which was the style at the time. In fact, they threw so many cloaks, hats, and togas at Draco that he was buried under them. By the time they dug him out, the lawmaker had reportedly suffocated.
2. The Emperor Who Got Too Angry
Valentinian I, also known as Valentinian the Great, was the second-to-last emperor to rule a unified Rome between 364 and 375. That said, his reign was characterized by numerous revolts, crises, and other challenges to his rule.
In 375, he was hosting a meeting with delegates from Rome’s allied peoples. The negotiations weren’t going his way, and Valentinian began screaming at the envoys in barely controlled rage.
Unfortunately, his outburst caused what historians believe to have been a stroke or an aneurysm. Without finishing his tirade, the emperor dropped to the floor dead.
3. Fell from a Sheet Rope
In adventure stories, you often hear of the main character escaping imprisonment by tying sheets and other fabrics together to make a long rope. If you try that, though, you’d better tie the knots well, or you might end up like Gruffudd ap Llywelyn ab Iorwerth.
The Welsh prince had been imprisoned in the Tower of London. On the night of March 1, 1244, he attempted escape with a rope he’d tied together from his bedsheets.
Sadly, the rope couldn’t take the heavyset prince’s weight. Gruffudd fell and broke his neck as he hit the ground.
4. Drowned in a Wine Barrel
Let’s return to the Tower of London a couple of hundred years later. In 1478, George Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence, was a prisoner in the fortress under (most likely fabricated) charges of treason.
Ultimately, his enemies decided Clarence had to die. When the executioners came and the duke realized he wasn’t talking his way out of this, he asked to at least be allowed to choose his method of death.
Given permission, he reportedly chose to be drowned in a barrel of strong wine. I suppose he’d enjoyed the stuff so much in life, he figured he might as well die of it.
Does this all sound familiar? That might be because Shakespeare immortalized the historical Clarence’s death in Richard III.
5. Got Sick While Studying Frozen Chicken
Sir Francis Bacon was an English statesman, philosopher, scientist, and all-around Renaissance man. He’s famous for laying the groundwork for empiricism, which holds that all scientific knowledge must stem from natural observations.
In 1626, Bacon fell victim to his own principles. He went out in a frigid snowstorm to study whether he could preserve chicken by freezing it, conducting an early experiment into refrigeration.
Sadly, he ended up freezing himself. Bacon caught such a terrible case of pneumonia from being out in the blizzard that it claimed his life.
6. Attacked by Skeletons
Pieter Peutemans was a Dutch painter in the 17th century. While skilled, he was no Rembrandt or Vermeer, so he occasionally had to make ends meet by doing commercial drawings.
On September 18, 1692, he was in the cadaver room of a Rotterdam academy making anatomical drawings when he dozed off. That night, the 1692 Rotterdam earthquake struck, shaking the building and the skeletons within.
Waking up with a start, the superstitious Peutemans thought the preserved corpses had come alive and were flying around, attacking him. He ran from the building in abject terror and suffered a serious heart attack. Although the situation was explained to him, the stress of the experience killed him shortly afterward.
7. Death by Large Turnip
Sir William Payne-Gallwey was a British politician in the late 19th century. When not representing his corner of Yorkshire, Payne-Gallwey was an avid hunter.
On December 19, 1881, he was out riding and shooting birds in the parish of Bagby. However, due to unreported reasons, he fell off his horse while crossing a turnip field.
According to newspaper articles from the following day, he landed on a “particularly large turnip.” This unfortunately placed Brassica root caused serious internal injuries, and Payne-Gallway died soon after.
8. Killed by Falling Cow
On July 28, 1895, the Journal and Tribune newspaper in Knoxville, Tennessee, printed a sad yet puzzling story. George Taylor, a nighttime tunnel watchman, had died while performing his duties.
Highway bandits didn’t kill him, though. Instead, he fell victim to a falling cow.
Passersby discovered the lifeless Taylor with an equally dead cow on top of him. According to the newspaper, the “supposition is that the cow was above the tunnel and fell off the edge.”
The clumsy bovine landed on the man, breaking his neck and killing him instantly. A similar fate befell the cow, whose neck had also snapped in the tumble.
For more stories like this, read our first list of 8 ridiculous deaths in history. You can then continue with the 10 oddest royal deaths on record.