- We all have to die, so you might as well make people remember how you went.
There are many ways to go down in history. You could create fantastic art, lead the conquest of half the world, make a groundbreaking invention, or simply be born to the right parents at the right time.
That, or you could die in an absolutely ridiculous fashion.
Although death is tragic, occasionally people die in such weird and unexpected ways that you can’t help finding their passing somewhat entertaining. We’ve taken a look at strange royal deaths before, but commoners also have to right to perish in an unusual fashion.
Here are eight people who died in weird and, frankly, ridiculous ways.
1. Inventor of the (Non-functional) Parachute
Franz Reichelt was an Austro-Hungarian tailor and inventor. He had been impressed by the invention of the airplane and set on a personal quest to create a functional parachute for early aviators.
When he believed he’d perfected his parachute design, he tested it on dummies he threw out of the window of his fifth-floor apartment. The parachute system didn’t work and the dummies crashed to the ground in a way that would’ve killed a person.
Logically, Reichelt determined that his parachute would work if a real person fell from an even greater height. So, on February 4, 1912, Reichelt jumped from the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
Sadly, his parachute didn’t work any better.
2. Tripped on His Own Beard
Hans Staininger was a 16th-century burgomaster (essentially mayor) of Branau am Inn in Austria. In addition to holding an influential post, he was known for his extremely long beard.
Staininger’s beard measured a whopping 4.5 feet, dragging on the floor when he walked. To facilitate normal life, he kept his beard rolled up in what was basically a leather fanny pack.
On September 28, 1567, a large fire broke out in Branau and started engulfing the town. In a rush, Staininger ran out of his office to direct firefighting efforts.
He hadn’t secured his beard, however, and he tripped on it. He tumbled down a flight of stairs, breaking his neck and dying instantly.
3. Too Polite to Use the Bathroom
Tycho Brahe was a famous Danish astronomer. Often celebrated as the father of modern astronomy, he’s certainly remembered for his life’s work, but his death is memorable as well.
In 1601, Brahe was attending a banquet organized by a noble in Prague. He badly needed to go to the bathroom, but Brahe was such a stickler for etiquette that he couldn’t bring himself to leave the table.
So, held his pee back through the entire banquet. By the time the event ended, Brahe was in excruciating pain and incapable of urinating.
He died soon after from a burst bladder.
4. Laughed Himself to Death
Pietro Aretino was a Florentine author, comedian, and social butterfly. He was particularly well known for his satirical works, which often included a good deal of naughty humor.
Look, the man liked dirty jokes. There’s nothing wrong with that, but unfortunately, it’s what killed him.
On October 21, 1556, Aretino was attending a dinner party in Venice, when someone cracked an obscene joke. Aretino found the gag so hilarious that he laughed himself to death.
Some sources claim that his laughing fit left him unable to breathe. Others state that he fell off his chair in hysterics and split his skull on the floor.
5. Killed by a Bizarre Alarm Clock
In the late 19th century, Samuel Wardell was a lamplighter in New York. His profession often required him to get up very early, so the crafty Wardell designed an unusual alarm clock.
He rigged a string holding up a 10-pound stone to a regular clock. He would set the clock’s arms so that when it was time for him to wake up, they would cut the string and let the rock fell on the floor.
One night, however, Wardell had some friends over for drinks and the night got so rowdy that they knocked his furniture around. Afterward, Wardell drunkenly rearranged his apartment and set his alarm clock for the next morning.
Things weren’t perfectly in place, though. Wardell had set his bed directly under his alarm clock’s stone and it came down right on his head.
6. Lawyer Who Proved His Point
In 1871, Ohio lawyer Clement Vallandigham was in court representing a man accused of shooting another in barroom brawl. His client claimed that the dead man had accidentally shot himself, and Vallandighman aimed to prove it.
He acquired the same type of pistol that the deceased man had, and began to demonstrate how it could accidentally go off when pulled out of a jacket pocket. Vallandigham believed the gun to be unloaded — but it wasn’t.
As he fumbled with the pistol, it caught on Vallandigham’s clothing and went off. The bullet lodged in his stomach, killing him.
If there’s a silver lining to this story, the jury was so convinced by Vallandigham’s demonstration that they acquitted his client.
7. Striding Boldly into Sniper Fire
John Sedgwick was a Union major general in the American Civil War. On May 9, 1864, he was leading his troops in the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House in Virginia.
His men came under fire from sharpshooters and stopped advancing. Sedgwick, however, believed the snipers’ rifles to be ineffective at that range and he marched to the field to spur his men on.
“Why are you dodging like this? They couldn’t hit an elephant at this distance!” Sedgwick admonished his troops.
Then a bullet hit him in the head and Sedgwick dropped dead. You can’t say the man lacked courage, though.
8. Hit by Falling Tortoise
Aeschylus was an Ancient Greek playwright, who is particularly for his tragedies. His own death, however, hinges on tragicomedy.
In 456 BC, Aeschylus was reportedly visiting the city of Gela on the island of Sicily. He had ventured outside of the city when an extremely unlikely series of events took place.
An eagle was flying overhead, carrying a tortoise it had caught. The bird dropped the tortoise — possibly thinking Aeschylus’ head was a rock — and it fell directly on the playwright’s head.
Well, the tortoise’s shell was harder than Aeschylus’ skull.