- People really will steal absolutely anything.
Cattle rustlers are a staple of any good Wild West story, but did you know they still exist today? It’s true, but they don’t ride six-shooters blazing into the cattle pens of frontier ranches anymore.
Modern cattle thieves have expanded both their methodology and the scope of things they steal. For instance, instead of swiping cows from a herd, they’re now more likely to commit sales fraud during cattle transactions.
In addition, they don’t steal just cattle anymore. They also target valuable related materials.
Like semen.
That’s what the cops found when they recently arrested a suspected Australian cattle thief. In addition to dishonestly acquired mooing mammals, they also discovered a liquid nitrogen tank in the man’s possession.
Inside the tank was bull baby goo. Lots and lots of bull baby goo. Dozens of thousands of dollars’ worth of it.
Look, as we often repeat, if it has any value and it’s not nailed down (and even if it is), someone will probably try to steal it. That said, this wouldn’t be our first choice when picking things to steal.
Empty Cattle
Australian authorities have identified the alleged cattle rustler as Eric Fraser, 34, from Grafton, New South Wales. He wasn’t caught suddenly, as his arrest came after a long-running operation.
The police had been observing Fraser for a whole year to get to the bottom of his dishonest cow acquisition system. And it indeed, was rather sophisticated.
It all began with a genuine, honest-to-goodness business deal that his Fraser employer, Sumo Wagyu Genetics, asked him to handle. The company had 200 “empty cattle” — that is, young cows that are unable to carry calves — and Fraser was supposed to arrange their sale.
However, instead of going about it honestly, the New South Wales Police Force alleges that he contacted an unidentified third part. He used that third party to purchase 114 of the cows for himself.
Of course, he did so at a significantly lower price that what the cows were really worth.
Not only that, but the herd Fraser is claimed to have bought included some cows that were not supposed to be sold. He slipped 45 high-value full-blooded Wagyu cows and heifers into the sale lot for good measure.
According to the cops, each cow was “conservatively” estimating to be worth around $3,000.
“The 45 full-blood cattle were purchased at a greatly reduced price compared to their true value. The man allegedly gained a financial advantage of almost $100,000,” the NSW Police Force stated.
A Big Load of Semen
But the cows aren’t why you’re reading this story. It’s because of the other stuff that the cops found when they raided Fraser’s properties earlier this year.
In addition to the illicitly acquired cattle, they seized a genetic liquid nitrogen tank. Within, they found loads upon loads of Wagyu bull semen.
The cops didn’t say exactly how much bull bazooka juice was in the tank. However, they said the entire haul was worth an estimated $100,000, so we decided to do some research and semen math to find out.
Wagyu bull semen can sell for anywhere between $25 to $5,000 per straw. A straw is a standard measurement for selling cattle semen, containing about 0.5 milliliters of baby batter.
So, knowing the total value of the semen haul, we can say that the nitrogen tank housed somewhere between 4,000 and 20 straws. At the maximum, there were about half a gallon of bull juice in the tank.
You’re welcome for that knowledge.
Cattle Mistreatment
There aren’t only crimes Fraser has been charged with, though. On top of the cows and semen, he also possessed multiple frozen cattle embryos.
He’s also been charged with animal cruelty. Upon raiding Fraser properties, the cops told him to immediately get veterinary help for six cows that were seriously ill.
Fraser later showed up with paperwork stating the cows had been treated. Police investigations found out, however, that they weren’t.
Instead, Fraser requested that a local veterinarian provide him with the necessary documentation without actually treating the cows. Consequently, two cows died of their illness. The vet has been charged with animal cruelty as well.
An Annual Event
Believe it or not, bull semen theft isn’t all that uncommon. As you just learned, the goo can be very valuable, and it seems like there’s at least one large-scale semen heist a year.
For instance, in 2022, German thieves stole 60 containers of cattle semen. The value of their haul wasn’t revealed publicly, but we did some of our own math at the time and estimated that it’s in the million of dollars.
Having said that, it seems we at Oddee have a consequent annual tradition of estimating the value of bull splooge.
In 2023, there was another semen theft in Ireland, with the crooks swiping two semen containers. This time, however, the whole affair seemed so amateurish that the authorities suspected that the criminals did not know what they stole.
We sure would’ve loved to see their faces when they cracked open one of the tanks.