- If you piss against the moon, you just might find the dog in the pot.
Anything can be art. Even a collection of bizarre Dutch proverbs from the end of a medieval period.
Perhaps we should explain. In 1559, Dutch artist Pieter Brugel the Elder made a painting titled “Netherlandish Proverbs.”
Also known as “Flemish Proverbs,” “The Blue Cloak,” and “The Topsy Turvy World,” the painting illustrates 126 Dutch proverbs, sayings, and idioms from the late medieval and early Renaissance periods.
As you can probably expect, some of the old sayings are pretty bizarre today. Here’s a collection of the weirdest proverbs, and some that just have clever illustrations.
1. To Be Able to Tie the Devil to a Pillow
Explanation: You can do anything if you’re stubborn enough.
The Devil isn’t exactly known to be the most cooperative fellow out there. Now, imagine trying to tie him to something that doesn’t provide stable support, like a pillow.
That’s not an easy task to do. But if you’re hardheaded enough and just keep at it, you’ll eventually succeed at it. You just have to be able to tire out the Devil himself.
2. To Bell the Cat
Explanation: To complete a dangerous task.
This saying actually stems from a medieval children’s story. In it, a group of rats (or mice, depending on the version) come up with a way to be safe from the house cat.
If they tie a bell to the cat’s neck, they can always here it coming and escape. One of the rats just has to go and do it.
In the end, none of the rats want to face the danger and the cat eats them all. Yeah, children’s stories were a bit different back then.
3. The Herring Does Not Fry Here
Explanation: Things aren’t going as planned.
This proverb is just so delightfully Dutch. They do love their herrings, after all.
The saying seems nonsensical, but you just need a bit of imagination to unravel it. Just picture yourself wanting to fry a herring for lunch, only to realize the herring doesn’t fry where you’re trying to do it.
Your lunch didn’t exactly go as planned, did it?
4. The Herring Hangs by Its Own Gills
Explanation: You’re responsible for your own actions.
I wasn’t kidding about the herrings. Here’s another fishy saying — but this one actually is a bit nonsensical.
Sure, the herring has its gills and it will hang by them if you stick a hook in them. But the herring didn’t get up to the rafters to hang due to its own actions. Somebody else put it up there.
5. To Find the Dog in the Pot
Explanation: You’ve arrived late for dinner.
You can’t really see it very well in the faded painting, but I promise there’s a dog in a pot back there. That dog isn’t about to become dinner, however.
Instead, it’s eating whatever what’s left of the meal. If you come home and find the dog in the pot, well, you’ve definitely missed dinner time.
6. To Be a Hen Feeler
Explanation: To be very stingy.
No, this guy isn’t some kind of a weirdo for feeling up his chickens. But he can still be unpleasant to be around.
A hen feeler is somebody who would give his chickens a good squeeze before slaughtering them, just to see if they happen to have an egg in them. In other words, a very miserly and stingy person.
7. To Piss Against the Moon
Explanation: To waste your time doing something pointless.
We’re sure there’s a story behind this saying. We don’t know what it is, but we know the meaning.
Just imagine trying to take a leak on the moon. You won’t be able to do it and it’s a waste of time to even try.
Fun fact, Bruegel the Elder painted multiple paintings on this proverb. Maybe it was his favorite.
8. They S*** Through the Same Hole
Explanation: To be inseparable from someone.
We all know a duo of best buddies who always seem to do everything together. They have lunch at the same time, they have the same hobbies, and they may even work at the same place.
Bet that when they go to the bathroom, they s*** through the same hole as well.
9. To S*** on the Gallows
Explanation: To act without concern for the consequences.
If there’s one thing Dutch proverbs like more than herring, it’s defecation. Here’s another crappy one, but it might be a bit obtuse since we don’t really use gallows anymore.
To crack this case, picture yourself living in a medieval Dutch town. The gallows would represent the power of whoever is in charge and making the rules around here.
Taking a dump on them probably wouldn’t go down too well and you might find yourself hanging from said gallows. If you still did it though… Well, obviously you’re not giving a hoot or a holler about the consequences.