Anyone else torturing themselves daydreaming about all the places they could go, or the things they could do if only there wasn’t a pandemic shutting everything down? There were 62 thousand news cases of coronavirus in the US yesterday. I’m calling it–we’re not getting the summer we dreamed about to get us through the first months of lockdown. Instead, stay home, wear a mask, wash your hands, and maybe next year we’ll get to go to a water park, or you know, anywhere. This video of a four-year-old mourning the loss of her favorite things (water parks, ice cream trucks, McDonald’s playgrounds) inspired this list of the world’s biggest water slides. They’re not open because “The only thing open is nothing.”
Tallest Water Slides in the World
Kilimanjaro, Aldeia das Aguas Park Resort
“Imposing, bold, and challenging, do you have the courage to face?” Built by the Aldeia das Aguas Park back in 1999, it’s still the tallest in the world. They carved out the side of a hill to make more space, to make this freefall body slide even longer. The stomach-dropping descent takes mere seconds, but it feels much longer because it’s just you, the water, and the undeniable force of gravity.
Captain Spacemaker, Caribe Bay
Captain Spacemaker is the tallest slide in all of Europe. You get to go down with friends in a rubber dinghy. Which is a blessing or a curse, depending on the friends you have. Those too-cool folks who refuse to acknowledge they have adrenaline aren’t any fun, and those scaredy-cats who ruin everyone’s good time aren’t allowed either. According to the water park, Caribe Bay, you can go up to 60 miles per hour on the 60-degree incline, so maybe Captain Spacemaker makes scaredy-cats of everyone?
Daredevil’s Peak, CocoCay Thrill Park
Click through to the Royal Caribbean website, because they let you “Earn Your Bragging Rights” with a virtual ride on the water slide. And since it’s the closest any of us are getting to fun in the sun this summer, you might as well. But I’ll warn you; it looks like a delightful slide. The whole thing’s enclosed, and at one point, you’re riding through neon rainbows. I ended up just getting sad cruise ships are probably a thing of the past now.
Do you want to go 65 miles per hour straight down? Head to Aquiraz, Brazil, to the Beach Park, where the Insano will drop you straight down for over a hundred feet. It’s not as charming as Daredevil’s Peak, but it promises to get your adrenaline pumping.
Ko’okiri Body Plunge, Volcano Bay Universal
A super-steep 70-degree fall awaits you in Volcano Bay, at the top of a very long stairway. It’s a drop-tube, which is an immediate no-go for me, but some people love to feel the floor just drop out beneath them. The end is a real spectator sport. The slide ends in a clear tube going under the splash pool at the base of the volcano. People gather around to watch your terrified/relieved face shoot by towards the finish.