As a child in the 90s, it felt like something of a fever dream. Everything from the fashion, to the toys, always had a feeling of “is this real?” Did you read my post on the weirdest cartoons of the 90s? No one would allow Ren and Stimpy on the air these days. Every manic toy commercial on Saturday morning had this manic, urgent energy. The thin veneer of selling “fun” shattered halfway through the decade. The message was, “just buy this; maybe it’ll make your anxiety go away.”
Well, the joke’s on those toy designers, Millennials are still chock full of anxiety, no matter how much weird stuff we buy. These are some of the most bizarre toys from the 90s. But, in retrospect, they’re still not as odd as kids’ YouTube.
Weird 90s Toys
Individual trampolines for your feet. They’re billed as “anti-gravity,” but in actuality, there’s nothing more grounding than trying to jump around on plastic boxes velcroed to your feet.
The 90s were all about pouring love and care into electronic toys with limited capabilities. Furby’s still around, and somehow weirder since he has an app where he shows viral YouTube videos.
Are the 90s getting credit for starting the slime trend? Some people’s actual careers are mashing slime for Instagram vids. A true dream career.
Why were we so obsessed? They’re weird and borderline creepy! The only thing more disturbing is the aging Millenials on Etsy, turning them into air plant holders.
Anyone else spend their summer afternoons trying to break the PR on the little counter? That and using it as a force field to keep your siblings away from you.
Did they put something in the rubber to make us love these? Why were they so fun? Just look at them and tell me you don’t wish you had some in your office.
My school banned Pogs the day after their release because they considered the game gambling. I saw them once, at a distance, on the playground, which is the sum of my experience with milk cap games.
What a dismal time in our collective history. This story about a judge forced to help a divorced couple divide their Beanie Baby collection is a shame we all carry. Some of them are worth six-digit figures now, but you have to find someone who wants to buy it.
What kid finds it fun to help a grown man shave? Maybe it was prepping a generation of women to take care of guys with their mattress on the floor. Mattel still sells a version of this doll; it’ll set you back a cool $70.