- You know, a little savage, leaves you feeling dissed?
These honest Christmas jokes are fun but some can be a little bit harsh. Merry Christmas to ewe!
What was the punishment for the person who stole a Christmas calendar? He
got 12 months.
How is Christmas like a job? You do all the work and a fat guy in a red suit gets all the credit.
What happens if you eat tinsil? You’ll get tinsil-itis.
What do you call reindeer acting like a punk? Rude-olph. Like this one, it’s an honest Christmas joke. And in itself, a little rude.
Why is it harder to buy Advent Calendars as the month of December progresses? Because their days are numbered.
What years does New Years come before Christmas? Every single year!
What did one snowman ask the other? Do you smell carrots?
Why don’t lobsters celebrate Christmas? Because they’re shell-fish. Those dang lobsters making it easy to tell them an honest Christmas joke.
What is a birds favorite story at Christmas time? The finch who stole Christmas.
Why isn’t Santa ever in the hospital? Because he has private elf-care.
How can you tell if Santa is around? You can always sense his presents.
How does a grumpy sheep talk about Christmas? “Baaa humbug!”
How does Christmas Day end? With the letter “y.”
What’s every parents favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night
What do elves eat for breakfast? Ice Crispies
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree? Nice knawing ya!
How do snowmen get around? They ride icicles.
What’s another name for Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses. Or this one. Do you think this is an honest Christmas joke?
How does a snowman lose weight? He waits for the weather to get warmer.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
What is another name for an elf that can sing and dance? Elf-is.
What do you call a scary reindeer? A cari-boo.
What did Santa Claus say to the smoker? “Please don’t smoke, it’s bad for my elf!”
How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from? Elephanta Claus.
What do you call Santa on a break? Santa Pause.
Why was the little boy cold on Christmas? Because it was Decembrrrrr.
What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot? A chill pill.
How does a sheep say Merry Christmas? “Fleece Navidad!”
What does an elf study at school? The elf-abet.
What made Rudolph the most famous reindeer? He went down in history.
How do sheep wish other sheep Merry Christmas? “Merry Christmas to ewe!”
What do you say about a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? There’s a bunch of chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!
What happens when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? You get a pineapple!
So what do you think of these honest Christmas jokes? Let me know in the comments!