- So for all of us, because we are all getting older all the time.
Old people jokes because we’re all getting older so we should just make it fun. What’s your favorite old person joke?
- That it doesn’t last very long.
- The truth is, retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
- At my age, the only pole dancing I do is while holding on to the safety bar in the bathtub.
- What do you call someone who enjoys Mondays?
- Love is like one long, sweet dream. Marriage is the alarm clock.
- Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me. My knees, my back, my neck …
- Why do retirees smile so much?
- Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying.
- If I ever decide to buy a horse ranch in my old age, I’m going to name it Pasture Prime.
- You know you’re getting old when your birthday cake is a fire hazard.
- Your age!
- You know it’s time to retire when your co-workers are wearing clothing from your youth and calling it retro.
- You’re not getting old; you’re becoming a classic.
- She got twice as much husband for half the pay.
- Atrophy.
- Funny one-liners about aging
- It Depends.
- Aging gracefully is a nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.
- Old age makes us great multitaskers. Why, I can sneeze and pee at the same time!
- Sometimes the best part of your career is retirement.
- A rigid nap schedule.
- Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
- One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends … because they can’t remember them!
- Where can single men over 65 find younger women who are interested in them?
- The older we get, the earlier it gets late.
- Bickering with your spouse is like trying to read the Terms of Use for a new service. In the end, you just give up and click “I agree.”
- Both come out at night.
- How is the moon like dentures?
- An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. “So,” he says, “do I come here often?”
- What goes up but never comes down?
- Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.
- Husbands are like lawn mowers: They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time.
- One, but it’ll take all day.
- Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.” Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.
- Why was the retiree’s wife tired?
- Which underwear brand do seniors love best?
- What is a prize old people can win for aging?
- When you consider the alternative, old age really isn’t so bad.
- Alarm clock showing midnight; sits idle against blue background. Text above reads, “The older we get, the earlier it gets late.”