- Feel free to try these, but we’ll just pop an ibuprofen and power through the pain.
Most of us have gotten a bit too deep into our cups at one time or another. The next morning, the sun hurts your eyes, your head feel like it’s splitting, and you’re praying for the sweet release of death.
Hangovers have been with us as long as we’ve known that alcohol is a thing. And while you can blame nobody but yourself for the condition, people have resorted to increasingly esoteric ways to cure it.
Here are 10 weird and wonderful hangover remedies from all around the world, but from the history and the present day. We don’t guarantee that any of them work though.
1) An Anti-Hangover Ring
Curing a hangover in the Byzantine Empire was easy. Before you start chugging wine, just slip on your magical anti-hangover ring.
Israeli archeologists recently dug up a golden ring from the ruins of one of the largest Byzantine wineries. Adorning the ring is a large amethyst, to which the Eastern Romans attributed a variety of mystical effects.
One of those was guarding its wearer against hangovers. Seems like an appropriate piece of jewelry to wear to a winery.
2) A Potion of Ground Human Skull and Dried Vipers
Life in England in the 1600s must’ve liked some strong drinks. We’re saying that because they came up with one of the most hardcore hangover remedies in history.
The ingredient list of Goddard’s Drops, a concoction named after the doctor John Goddard, sounds more like something you’d need the summon a demon. The drink calls for some ammonia, a few pieces of a dried viper, and a dash of ground-up human skull.
Not just any skull will do, though. It specifically had to come from a recently hanged individual.
Yeah, we’re not surprised this potion didn’t survive to the modern day. But apparently King Charles II was very fond of it.
3) Rabbit Poop
Cowboys loved their whiskey, but it’s difficult to go around rootin’, tootin’, and six-shootin’ with a hangover. They had just the cure, though — rabbit feces.
For an authentic cowboy hangover remedy, collect some fresh rabbit droppings from the bushes and brew them into a tea. Once you gulp it down, you’re ready to throw on your Stetson and hop on your horse.
Disgusting as it is, there might be some actual science behind this. Rabbit poop contain salt and potassium, and your dehydrated, hungover body is probably craving both.
We’d recommend just having a banana, though.
4) Deep-Fried Canary
Before the Roman Empire split and gave rise to the Byzantines and their magic rings, the Romans had a different idea of how to cure a hangover. At least, the famous philosopher Pliny the Elder had one.
He recommends deep-frying an entire canary and eating it. But in the usual ancient world fashion, his recipe is frustratingly vague.
What does he mean by an “entire canary?” Can you pluck and de-bone it? Or do you need to eat it whole, with feather, bones, and innards intact?
We’ll probably never know.
5) Lemon in your Armpits
Before you hit the bar, you’ll probably put on some deodorant. But according Puerto Ricans, you should also rub a slice of lemon into your armpits.
Apart from giving your pits a fresh, lemony scent, the citrus treatment is supposed to prevent a hangover. How that works, though, is anybody’s guess.
But here’s a fun fact — most Puerto Ricans claim that they’ve never even heard of this remedy. Could it be that this thing is just malarkey?
6) Bury Yourself in Sand
The Irish know their alcohol. But while they make great whiskey, we wouldn’t trust their folk remedies for curing hangover.
Apparently, you’re supposed to bury yourself up to the neck in wet river sand. The cold sand is supposed to boost your circulation and make you feel better.
Maybe just try a cold shower instead.
7) Raw Eels
The English had more ways to cure hangovers than just ingesting pulverized human skulls. A medieval favorite was a hearty meal of raw eels.
We know about eel pies, but this goes beyond that. You’re supposed to mix raw eels with ground bitter almonds and cobble down the mixture.
We don’t know whether you were supposed to grind the eels as well, or to eat them as whole. But the logic was that the eels would somehow soak up whatever alcohol remained in your body.
Color us skeptical.
8) Lick Your Own Sweat
Some Native American tribes — we couldn’t find any sources stating which — believed that “sweat swishing” would cure a hangover. And yeah, it’s just as gross as you’re probably imagining.
If you woke up with a dry mouth and a throbbing headache, you first had to have a good workout. We’re not talking about a couple of pushups — you need to break a proper sweat.
Then, just lick up your sweat and gurgle it in your mouth for a bit. Spit it out and presto, your hangover is cured.
Just remember to spit the sweat out. Apparently, this remedy won’t work if you swallow it.
9) IV Drip
Knowing Las Vegas, it’s no wonder that there are plenty of people waking up with hangovers every day. A local clinic called Hangover Heaven promises to cure what ails them.
When you arrive, you get to choose from one of three treatment plans. Then, the staff hooks you up to an IV drip, filled with nutrients and medicines that are supposed to make you feel better.
You better hope you didn’t spend all your savings on booze and gambling the night before. The treatments have a price tag between $400 and $500, and most require at least two patients.
10) Bull Penis
Bull penis must have some hangover-curative properties. Why else would people in two different countries use it?
In Bolivia, you can order Caldo de cadran — a bull penis soup that supposedly helps with hangovers. We’re not sure how you’re supposed to eat it, though, since the foot-long penis is served whole.
Sicilians also believe in penis power, but they don’t make it into a soup. Instead, you get to chow down on an entire dried bull dong.