- Would you rather control Bill Clinton or a bondage-gear-clad weirdo who kind of moves like a… Lizard or something?
One reason why people love video games is that they let you become something you’re not. Taking the reins of the game’s playable characters, you could become an intrepid space explorer, a mighty barbarian warrior, a powerful sorcerer… Or a goat.
Not every game lets you live out a power fantasy. Some games put you in control of a much, much stranger character.
Here are eight examples of absolutely unhinged playable video game characters that really make you wonder who comes up with this stuff.
Note that we’ve intentionally ignored some games (especially very old ones) that make you control some kind of indescribable geometric object. A list of nothing but triangles and circles wouldn’t be very fun, you know.
1. Earthworm Jim (Earthworm Jim)
If you grew up in the ‘90s, you might remember Earthworm Jim. He starred in a few video games and even got his own cartoon show where he was voiced by none other than Dan Castellaneta (i.e. Homer Simpson).
Relatively popular as he was, Jim himself is a… Creative character. He’s literally just an earthworm who happens to find an alien robot suit, which he promptly uses to go on various adventures.
That said, Jim isn’t the weirdest thing in his franchise. After all, the series is filled with characters like Queen Slug-for-a-Butt, Evil the Cat, and the blind cave salamanders that live inside a giant intestine.
2. Octodad (Octodad)
Octodad is a 2010 physics puzzle game where one or more players control the titular Octodad by separately controlling each of his limbs. The game is a lot of fun, but Octodad’s character concept is a bit puzzling.
He’s an actual octopus that can’t even speak but has managed to assume a somewhat human shape and put on a suit. Somehow, he’s completely fooled everyone around him into thinking he’s human, and he lives in the suburbs with his human wife and children.
In fact, in the game’s ending, the kids find out their father is a genuine octopus and wonder how their parents were able to conceive them. Everybody laughs them off and you should too, because the whole concept raises uncomfortable questions about Octodad’s world.
3. Glover (Glover)
What do you mean you haven’t heard of Glover from the 1998 game Glover? Well, we can’t blame you since the game wasn’t great and the character of Glover is…
Well, he’s a wizard’s glove that comes to life after a magical mishap. He then has to go on an adventure to gather balls to save his master.
As you do when you’re a disembodied glove walking around on two of its fingers. Out of all the magical companions a wizard could have, why did they go with a glove?
4. Voldo (Soulcalibur)
Oh boy, here comes Voldo from the Soulcalibur series. Say hi to one of the most bizarre and uncomfortably sadomasochistic characters in the history of the fighting game genre.
Although his appearance changes from game to game, he’s usually a bound-eyed man clad in some combination of leather straps, bandages, and spikes. As if his fetishistic appearance wasn’t enough, the way he slithers and writhes around during his combat moves is…
Look, just watch the below video. We can’t describe the way this character moves.
5. Bread (I Am Bread)
In the 2015 platformer game, I Am Bread, you are bread. Literally.
You control a slice of bread that wants to become toast. In each level, your goal is to reach the welcoming warmth of a toaster in as edible condition as possible.
For instance, to climb walls, you might smear yourself with sticky jam. But be careful of any crud lying around, because that will also stick to the jam and lower your edibility score.
Perform well enough and you may unlock other playable baked goods, like a baguette or a donut.
6. Bill Clinton and Al Gore (NBA Jam)
NBA Jam is a sports game that puts a more action-y twist to basketball. Think of it like pro wrestling — NBA Jam is all about the cool explosive dunks rather than an intricate simulation of basketball.
The game is absolutely steeped in early ‘90s pop culture, featuring multiple secret playable characters. Among them are the then-current president and vice president of America.
That’s right — Bill Clinton and Al Gore can take to the field to bust out some radical slam dunks. You know, we kind of want to see this in real life.
7. NASCAR Car (Fighters Megamix)
Fighting games are full of strange and unhinged characters (as Voldo from earlier on demonstrates). Yet, perhaps the strangest fighting game character ever comes from Fighting Megamix.
This 1996 game pits characters from various Sega game franchises against each other in the ring. Among them is Hornet, from the Daytona USA racing game series.
Yes, Hornet is a NASCAR car. He stands on his rear tires, punches with his front tires, and as he gets beaten up, pieces of his chassis fall off.
8. Tofu (Resident Evil 2)
Resident Evil 2 is a popular survival horror game, thanks to both its 1998 original version and the excellent 2019 remake. But did you know the game has a more humorous unlockable secret mode?
In this special game mode, you play as Tofu, who is literally a giant block of tofu. He has to wobble through the game armed with nothing but melee attacks, but he can also survive many more zombie bites than humans.
Tofu was originally simply a way for the game’s developers to test out its hit detection system. However, they found the living soy curd block so hilarious that they included him in the finished game as an easter egg.
9. Diogenes (Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy)
The 2017 game Getting Over It with Bennet Foddy is about one man who climbs an impossible mountain, endlessly persevering against impossible odds. Appropriately, his name is Diogenes after the mythical Greek figure who pushes a boulder up a mountainside for all eternity.
This Diogenes, however, pushes no boulders. Instead, he’s a bald man with his legs stuck in an iron pot, wielding a sticky sledgehammer he uses to climb the mountain.
No, there’s no context. That’s who you’re controlling and the mountain is your enemy.
Happy climbing.