- International Christmas traditions are wonderful, weird, and sometimes downright terrifying.
It’s that time of the year again when a rotund red-clad man commits serial breaking and entering through people’s chimneys to bring presents to all good children.
At least if you’re in a region where the conventional Santa Claus is a thing. Elsewhere in the world, someone completely different might bring you your presents.
He might be dressed differently or be an old woman — or a piece of wood with bowel issues. Here are six strange takes on Santa and his equivalents from all over the world.
1. Blue Santa — Ohio’s REAL Santa
In 2009, archeologists digging in the ruins of a 19th-century toy factory in Akron, Ohio, discovered America’s oldest toy figure depicting Santa. One thing was notably different, though — this Santa was clad in blue.
The discovery has sparked a small regional movement that insists this is the outfit of the real Santa. The red-dressed man we know today is nothing but an advertisement creation of the Coca-Cola Company.
Well, they’re not exactly wrong.
We don’t know if there was anything radically different about Blue Santa apart from his clothing. But hey, insisting Santa should sport blue is one way to connect to your roots.
2. Befana — The Christmas Witch from Italy
Italian children might today get presents from Santa on Christmas. Traditionally, however, Befana brings them their gifts on January 5.
Befana is depicted as an old witch, woman, or hag dressed in a black shawl. Her clothes are nearly always covered in soot because, like Santa, she enters houses through the chimney.
From the hamper on her bag, she fills nice children’s socks with candy and sweets, while naughty kids get nothing but coal or foul-tasting black candy. After spreading her gifts, Befana hops onto her broomstick and flies to the next house.
It’s traditional to leave a treat out for Befana in return on the night before she visits. Instead of milk and cookies, though, Befana prefers a nice glass of wine with local Italian delicacies.
3. Tió de Nadal — Catalonia’s S***ing Yule Log
Tió de Nadal must be one of the most bizarre Christmas… Things out there. He (or it, really) is simply a log, as in a piece of wood.
Starting December 8, the family is supposed to give Tió de Nadal a bit of food to eat every night and cover him with a blanket to keep him from getting cold. But the nice treatment stops on Christmas Eve, or Christmas Day in some houses.
That day, Tió de Nadal is placed partially in the house’s fireplace. Children then proceed to beat the log with sticks and sing songs ordering it to take a massive s***.
Why, you ask? Because Tió de Nadal craps presents, of course.
4. Yule Lads — The 13 Pranksters of Iceland
In Icelandic Christmas tales, there is Grýla, a hideous female troll-thing who eats misbehaving children. But Grýla isn’t the problem on Christmas — it’s her dang kids.
The Yule Lads are a gang of 13 mischievous spirits that rampage through the island of Iceland over the holiday season. Each of them arrives on a designated day and wreaks havoc according to its name.
Those names translate to, among others, Spoon Licker, Door Slammer, Window Peeper, and Meat Hook. Despite their destructive nature, though, the Yule Lads aren’t all bad.
If children leave their shoes on the windowsill the evening before a Yule Lad arrives, he might leave a small present in them. Unless the kid has been naughty, in which case the Lad will stuff a rotten potato in the shoe.
5. Amu Novruz — Iran’s Wise Old Man
Amu Novruz resembles Santa Claus in a lot of ways. He’s a white-bearded old man, dressed in warm clothes, who goes around giving presents to children.
But he has nothing to do with Christmas.
Amu Novruz is a character in Iranian folklore and, as a Muslim-majority country, Christmas isn’t widely celebrated in Iran. Instead, this more-or-less Santa equivalent arrives at the beginning of spring to coincide with the Iranian New Year.
And just like Santa has Mrs. Claus, Amu Novruz is married to Nane Sarma, or Grandma Frost. Sadly, the couple can only meet on one day of the year, since Amu Novruz comes around in spring, which is when Nane Sarma leaves for the summer.
6. Krampus — Santa’s Monstrous Helper from the Alps
It’s a bit of a stretch to call Krampus a Santa equivalent. He is intricately linked to Santa in Germany, Switzerland, and other countries around the Alps, but Santa he is not.
Instead, this monstrous, horned half-man-half-goat beast is Santa’s helper. You see, in Germanic folklore, Santa is apparently so nice that he can’t bring himself to punish misbehaving children.
So, he outsourced the punishment to Krampus. While Santa hands out gifts and goodies to nice children, Krampus beats the living daylights out of the naughty ones with birch rods.
Seriously, what is wrong with German fairy tales?