- We sure are glad human beings aren’t named like horses.
It’s a day at the horse races, and would you look at that? The horse you bet on has just won and earned you a nice wad of cash!
And that horse’s name is Baked Bean Slip and Slide.
Well, we made that one up. But it’s a well-known fact that racehorses often have incredibly outlandish names.
Here’s a collection of 12 of the strangest ones. We’ve also connected every horse name to a source, so you can be sure that we didn’t just make up some nonsense and pass it off as a horse.
1. Neigh Sayer
Let’s start off with a horse whose name has a more obvious origin. Neigh Sayer is clearly a horsey pun on “naysayer.” We can only assume this horse has a bit of a temperament.
2. Inside Information
Inside Information seems strange until you find out the names of her parents. Her sire was Private Account, and her dam was called Pure Profit (and her dam, in turn, was Key to the Mint). Clearly, this is a financially-minded horse family
3. Ha Ha Ha
Sometimes, horse breeders just want to make the announcers’ day terrible at the races. That’s reportedly the story of how Ha Ha Ha got her name. Imagine being a horse race announcer and trying to excitedly yell Ha Ha Ha’s name as she wins the race (and she has several times).
4. Big Tits
Other times, the people naming the horse just have a naughty sense of humor. That’s certainly the case with the French mare Big Tits. Interestingly, her name would’ve absolutely not been allowed in the U.K. or the U.S., but it didn’t break any French rules.
5. Whykickamoocow
You might imagine Whykickamoocow liked to kick cattle, but the name actually comes from New Zealand slang. In Zealand, Whykickamoocow (which comes from Waikikamukau) means basically the same as “boonies” or “the sticks” — that is, a place far from civilization.
6. Sticky G.I.
Inside Information mentioned above inherited her financial name from her parents. So did Sticky G.I., though the result is a bit more… Well, Sticky G.I. is reportedly the offspring of Lost Soldier and Super Glued.
7. Lemons Ain’t Limes
It’s true; lemons are not limes. What that fact has to do with horses is anyone’s guess. Lemons Ain’t Limes probably pays homage to her dam, who was called Ain’t That Wicked.
8. Arrrrr
Arrrr is the son of the above-mentioned Lemons Ain’t Limes. His name, however, has nothing to do with lemons or limes, or the relationship thereof. Frankly, much like Ha Ha Ha, this name may have been chosen just to make announcers sound ridiculous.
9. Weareagrandmother
In the late ‘80s, Clement Freud (the grandson of Sigmund Freud) asked British prime minister Margaret Thatcher if he could name a newborn foal after her. She declined. Consequently, Freud named the horse Weareagrandmother — for some reason.
10. Odor in the Court
The year was 1996, and the unfortunately named horse called Judge Smells sired a foal with Faffy G. In recognition of his father, the newborn was named Odor in the Court. What an honor.
11. Whatamichoppedliver
Whatamichoppedliver was reportedly a Kentucky Derby racehorse in the 1970s. Unfortunately, that’s so long ago that the name doesn’t appear in modern horse databases. However, the name does appear in news reports about the Derby, so we choose to believe it’s real.
12. Potoooooooo
Finally, we have perhaps the most legendary weird racehorse name ever: Potoooooooo. This horse lived in the late 18th century and is, according to records, one of the most successful racehorses of his time. His name was supposed to be “Potatoes” but either due to a misunderstanding or mischief, a stable boy wrote it down on the registration form as “pot” followed by eight O’s.
Why Are Racehorse Names So Weird?
We’ve already mentioned above some reasons for why racehorse names are often so bizarre. They may come from already weirdly named parents, or it could be a case of the horse breeder trying to be funny or naughty.
In most cases, though, it’s due to the extremely strict rules that govern the naming of thoroughbred horses. In the U.S., for instance, a horse’s name must be shorter than 18 characters, not shared by another horse, not contain vulgarities or living people’s names, and so forth.
Considering how many racehorses are out there, coming up with a wholly unique name that fulfills all these conditions is far from easy. So, breeders often resort to giving their horses absolutely ridiculous names just to comply with the rules.