- Here are some ideas if you feel there aren’t enough holidays in your year.
Independence Day, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day… Everybody knows the big national holidays, if only because a lot of them mean you might get a day off work.
But there are a near-endless number of national holidays that you definitely don’t get to count as paid time off. Many of them lack any kind of official recognition and celebrate more or less important matters.
Usually less.
Here is a curated selection of the weirdest national holidays out there for every month of the year.
1) January 16 — Nothing Day
Nothing is really more of an anti-holiday than anything else. On January 16, you’re supposed to celebrate exactly what it says on the label — nothing.
No, that doesn’t mean you need to embrace the howling void of oblivion. If you observe this holiday, you just don’t get to celebrate any of the other illustrious holidays that share the date with it, like the National Teachers’ Day.
Nothing Day was supposedly started Harold Pullman Coffin, a San Francisco Examiner columnist, in 1973. Fed up with every single nice special interest group claiming a special day for themselves, he proposed that Nothing Day be celebrated itself.
Fighting fire with fire, huh, Mr. Coffin?
2) February 18 — National Crab-Stuffed Flounder Day
Speaking of niche special interest days, how about the National Crab-Stuffed Flounder Day? There’s nothing weird about food-themed holidays — we got Spaghetti Day, for example — but could they really not have found a more obscure dish to celebrate?
Crab-stuffed flounder is, well, a fillet of flounder roller around stuffing consisting of crab meat, breadcrumbs, and seasoning. It sounds good and all, but who on Earth made a national holiday for it?
We don’t know, that’s for sure. And we probably shouldn’t call this a “national” holiday, since it’s very unlikely to get official recognition from the Congress.
3) March 8 — National Proofreading Day
On March 8, four days after the National Grammar Day, we celebrate proofreading for some reason. Sure, error-free text is a thing of beauty, and this day reminds us all of the importance of checking your writing before publishing.
The holiday was started in 2011 by one Judy Beaver. She wanted to honor her late mother Flo, who was notorious for correcting others mistakes.
What a legacy.
4) April 14 — Cake & Cunnilingus Day
Just a heads up, this is going to get raunchy. The history of Cake & Cunnilingus Day (C&CD) is one of petty one-ups.
C&CD was founded in 2006 to counter the Steak & BJ Day (March 14). The S&BD, for its part, got its start in response to Valentine’s Day because some guys felt the ladies were getting a bit too much attention.
But really, why do you need a specific day for eating something good before moving on to your special someone? Just grab some dinner and go to town once you get home, for Pete’s sake.
Oh boy, we can’t wait until someone makes up a new holiday to counter this one.
5) May 1 — World Naked Gardening Day
Ever wanted to shed your shame and go tend to your roses or marigolds or whatever? Well, here’s a day for you.
The World Naked Gardening Day was started in 2005 by the nudist organization Body Freedom Collaborative. The purpose of the day is to “help people liberate themselves and help them reconnect with the natural world.”
Suppose you can look after the plants in your yard in the nude if you want to. But it does sound like a fantastic way to get bug bites and stuff in places your really don’t want them.
6) June 28 — National Tau Day
You might want to steer clear of math majors on June 28. It’s the National Tau Day and we can see certain people getting into some heated debates.
The premise of the day is simply that Pi — the approximate number 3.14 used to calculate a circle’s circumference — is wrong. On this day, some math nerds advocate for replacing the use of Pi with Tau, or roughly 6.28.
Tau supposedly gives you more accurate results. We’ll leave this debate for someone else.
7) July 19 — National Get Out of the Doghouse Day
Really, we picked this one for the name. In reality, the National Get Out of the Doghouse Day has perfectly valid intentions behind it.
On this day, you’re supposed to make amends for all the ways you’ve wronged your spouse — or anyone else if you lack one. The name comes from the idiom “being in the doghouse,” or on bad terms with your wife.
The date actually changes every year, since the celebration falls on the third Monday of July. This year it was July 19, so we listed that.
8) August 6 — National Wiggle Your Toes Day
What’s a foot fetishist’s favorite holiday? Actually, probably the National Go Barefoot Day (June 1), but the National Wiggle Your Toes Day is probably right up there.
On this day, people are encouraged to pamper their toes. That could include getting a pedicure, or just wearing open-toed shoes to share your wigglers with the world.
Or you could just wiggle your toes for the heck of it.
9) September 23 — National Dogs in Politics Day
On this day, we celebrate the First Dog(s) of the United States. That is, the President’s dogs.
At the moment, the star of the day is President Biden’s German shepherd Major. It would’ve been a double celebration, but unfortunately his other dog Champ passed away on June 19, 2021.
Fun fact, the only presidents in U.S. history to not have pets at the White House are James K. Polk, Andrew Johnson, and Donald Trump. Now go win a trivia night.
10) October 14 — Be Bald and Be Free Day
On October 14, we remind people that it’s okay if you don’t have hair, whoever you are. The holiday was founded by the website Wellcat in protest to the entire industry of products catering to people worried of losing their hair.
The Be Bald and Be Free Day serves to extol the virtues of a chrome dome. Imagine how much you’d save in shampoo and conditioner if you just shaved it all off?
They could’ve picked a little less bombastic name, though.
11) November 26 — You’re Welcomegiving Day
It seems only logical that Thanksgiving Day would be followed by You’re Welcomegiving Day. The celebration was started in 1977 by a man called Richard Ankli from Ann Arbor, Michigan.
So, on this day, we’re supposed to remember to say “You’re welcome” after someone thanks you. But how do you actually celebrate this?
Are you supposed to just walk up to someone and go: “Remember that favor I did for you? You’re welcome, by the way.” Seems a bit douchey to us.
12) December 5 — International Ninja Day
Ah, ninjas, the shadows in the night. The image of these masters of espionage and infiltration is firmly embedded in the popular culture of practically every nation on the planet.
Of course, the popular concept of a ninja has very little to do with the actual assassins and spies of Edo-period of Japan. But that doesn’t stop us from celebrating all things ninja on this day.
And hey, you could commemorate the day by finding out about what ninjas were actually like.