- If you thought a plumber jumping on turtles is strange, wait until you meet these guys.
When thinking of memorable video game characters, your mind generally goes to the playable heroes. It makes sense — whether they’re heroic or plain strange, that’s the character you’ll see the most of.
But we shouldn’t ignore the enemies you’ll encounter. Most video games throw at least some kinds of adversaries at you and, occasionally, they can end up being more memorable than the player’s character.
That’s especially true if the enemies are downright bizarre.
It would be impossible to make a comprehensive list of every single weirdo you fight in video games. Here is just a small sample of 10 mind-boggling monsters from video game history.
1. Slappers (Final Fantasy VIII)
The Final Fantasy role-playing game series has featured a cavalcade of unusual enemies throughout the years. However, perhaps the most out-of-place beasts are the Slappers from Final Fantasy VIII.
These guys are a team of hockey players you’ll have to fight if you enter an ice rink in one part of the game. They can beat your characters with their hockey sticks and cast powerful ice magic.
The Slappers aren’t found in any other part of the game — or any other Final Fantasy title. Considering Final Fantasy VIII is a fairly serious game with plenty of teenage drama, these guys really stand out as a uniquely bizarre encounter.
2. Cruelcumber (Dragon Quest)
The Dragon Quest series is another famous Japanese RPG series with plenty of unhinged enemies. So, for the Cruelcumbers to stand out, they really have to be weird.
Introduced in Dragon Quest 9, these guys are quite literally sentient, spear-wielding cucumbers. That is, if cucumbers had limbs, unblinking googly eyes, and a giant tongue permanently lolling out of their mouths.
Cruelcumbers are extremely cartoony and even kind of cute, but there’s also something a little unsettling about them. No wonder they became a fan favorite and have appeared in other games since their debut.
3. Hell Bovine (Diablo II)
What do you get if you take a cow, cram a demonic spirit in it, and hand it a giant axe? You’ll get the Hell Bovines from Diablo II.
These guys actually began as a joke or a hoax. Fans of the original Diablo liked to fool new players, telling them of a (nonexistent) secret level where you’d fight the cows that wander around the game’s main settlement.
The developers heard of the joke and decided to make it real. So, in Diablo II, you can enter a secret level full of demon-possessed, bloodthirsty cows.
4. Bob the Killer Goldfish (Earthworm Jim)
The Earthworm Jim series is famous for its strange main character, who is a literal earthworm in a robotic spacesuit. Yet, compared to many of his enemies, Jim seems downright mundane.
Take, for instance, Bob the Killer Goldfish. This boss enemy appears in all Earthworm Jim games, but he really doesn’t live up to his title.
That’s because he’s a goldfish in a bowl — nothing more, nothing less. He’s the easiest enemy to defeat in the games since he can’t hurt you. All you need to do is knock his bowl to the ground.
5. Hamsters (Valkyrie Chronicles)
While Bob the Killer Goldfish is as harmless as he looks, you can’t say the same about the hamsters in the Valkyrie Chronicles and Valkyrie Profile RPGs. They appear as normal furballs, but they’ve been the bane of many gamers who underestimated them.
You see, these hamsters have an ace up their sleeve. They can call upon a swarm of hundreds of hamsters that rush the player’s party.
This attack is entirely unavoidable and causes such massive damage that you’re virtually guaranteed to see the Game Over screen. Making a regular hamster the game’s most dangerous enemy was a cruel trick on the developers’ part.
6. Clara-chan (Yakuza: Like a Dragon)
On the surface, the Yakuza games are gritty beat-‘em-ups telling stories of Japan’s seedy backstreets — until you get to the side stories. That’s when the writers let loose and the games’ bizarre reality kicks in.
For example, in Yakuza: Like a Dragon, you have a side quest where you’re trying to help a down-on-its-luck circus. One thing you have to do is find and bring back Clara-chan, an escaped chimpanzee.
That’s easier said than done, because when you finally corner the chimp, she jumps into an excavator and attacks you with the machine. The good news is that once you beat her, you can hire Clara-chan to work for you.
That’s organized crime for you.
7. Boogey Tent (Earthbound)
Earthbound is a… Unique RPG from the Super Nintendo. We probably could’ve filled this entire list with the hordes of completely out-of-the-left-field enemies you encounter during the adventure.
Personally, however, we have to give the grand prize of weirdness to Boogey Tent. This enemy is a circus tent — literally. You’re fighting the tent.
Or, well, you’re really fighting the evil face on the tent… Look, we really can’t tell.
8. Cart Dog (Dusk)
Dusk is a 2018 horror first-person shooter game that features many, increasingly twisted monsters for you to fight. But perhaps the biggest WTF experience comes when you first encounter the Cart Dog.
Initially, you’ll be horrified. The Cart Dog is a snarling, legless dog, suspended with ropes in a wooden frame. That’s so sad and disturbing, right?
But then the thing somehow charges you with its wooden frame. If the attack misses, the whole contraption now has to slooooooowly pivot around before it can lunge at you again.
Seeing the whole thing happen in motion is honestly pretty funny. The Cart Dog somehow manages to hit that sweet spot of being both amusing and disturbing.
9. Grim Reaper (Paperboy)
Paperboy is a classic arcade game from 1985. You control a young lad on his bicycle and your job is to deliver papers while dodging all the obstacles that crowd your nameless city’s streets.
One of those obstacles is the Grim Reaper. For some reason, Death itself is in town and he’s out to get you.
The rest of the obstacles are fairly mundane — think tires, cars, or dogs — so suddenly seeing the Reaper charging at you will take you by surprise. Ironically, though, he’s one of the easier obstacles to avoid.
10. The Great Mighty Poo (Conker’s Bad Fur Day)
Conker’s Bad Fur Day is the video game equivalent of an early 2000s gross-out teen comedy. The game is full of jokes and gags, each raunchier and more in bad taste than the last.
Eventually, however, you’ll encounter the Great Mighty Poo. He’s an enormous pile of crap that likes to sing opera, for some reason.
“I am the Great Mighty Poo, and I’m going to throw my s*** at you,” he sings — and then proceeds to do just that.
Oh, and you beat him by chucking toilet paper at him. Because of course you do.