- Behind every ridiculous warning label is an equally ridiculous true story.
When examining product labels, you may find strange and, frankly, stupid warning messages. One famous example is the “Coffee May Be Hot” warning found on many disposable coffee mugs.
That’s really dumb. Of course hot coffee will be hot, right?
But most of these kinds of labels are there because exactly that harebrained scenario happened. Often, somebody used the product in a way it was never intended for, and then the manufacturer got slapped with an expensive lawsuit.
Here are 9 examples of warning labels that seem extremely stupid, and the reasons why they’re there.
1. Cereal Bowl: ‘Always Use with Adult Supervision’
This label was originally spotted on a ceramic Kellogg’s cereal bowl, but it has appeared on others as well. You might scoff at the idea of kids these days not even being able to eat breakfast without supervision, but they really can’t.
Children don’t necessarily have the common sense to not smash a cereal bowl on their sibling’s head, with obvious results. That, or the bowl might fall on the ground, resulting in sharp shards that the kid then picks up.
And let’s not even talk about the “drowning in milk” scenario which has unfortunately happened. The ridiculous label is there so parents don’t try blaming the bowl manufacturer for leaving their kids unattended.
2. Rotary Tool: ‘Not a Dental Drill’
We can’t confirm if it’s still there, but the manuals for Dremel rotary tools at least used to include a warning about not using the tool as a “dental drill.” Yes, people are crazy (or desperate) enough to do that.
For example, one Florida man (no surprises there) tried to save on dental care costs and tried sanding down a broken tooth. Cue a horrendous infection, hospitalization, and complete loss of several teeth.
It’s not just Florida Man who does weird stuff, though. Check out our list of all the craziness Florida Woman has gotten up to.
3. Car Speakerphone: ‘Never Operate While Driving’
In 2010, the Jabra Drive ‘N’ Talk car speakerphone won the Annual Wacky Warning Label contest with this gem. The thing’s user manual states: “Never operate your speakerphone while driving.”
Kind of defeats the point of owning the device, doesn’t it?
Yet, the fact is that speaking on the phone — even hands-free — can distract you from the traffic. If you then crash, it’s not really the phone’s fault that you did.
4. Float Toys: ‘Does Not Keep You Afloat’
If you buy a pool toy, whether it’s a pool noodle or a flamingo-shaped float, it will typically bear a label warning you that the thing may not float. It might say something like “This product will not keep you afloat” or “This is not a life-saving device.”
The warnings are there because most pool toys really can’t save you in an emergency. A pool float might keep you bobbing on the surface if you’re calmly lying on it, but start trashing around in panic and both of you will sink.
There are many sad stories of people, particularly kids, drowning because someone threw them a pool noodle instead of an actual life preserver.
5. Superman Costume: ‘Does Not Grant Superpowers’
In 2007, people preparing for Halloween noticed that a Superman costume sold by Texas company Frankel’s Costumes bore a strange warning. The packaging cautioned consumers that “this costume does not enable flight or super strength.”
Well, duh. Yet, put a small child in the outfit of their favorite superhero and they might get the idea that they’ve gained the hero’s powers as well.
Fortunately, there don’t seem to be any cases of kids trying to fly while wearing Frankel’s costume. Still, the company decided to cover its bases before such an incident could happen.
6. Fishing Lure: ‘Harmful if Swallowed’
Of course a fishing lure is harmful if you swallow it — that’s the point. Yet, we once again have curious children to thank or blame for the existence of these labels.
After all, fishing lures are colorful, come in fun shapes, and may even smell edible to attract fish. In a particularly infamous case from 2012, a Michigan child got into his dad’s tackle box and swallowed a lure, which required extensive surgery before it could be removed.
Dogs, too, have often mistaken lures for chew toys with horrible results. In response to these cases, lure manufacturers started putting big labels on their products so no one could say they weren’t warned.
7. Toilet Brush: ‘Not for Personal Hygiene’
Check out the packaging for toilet brushes and it might tell you it’s “not for personal hygiene” or, more graphically, not to be inserted into “rectum or mouth.” These bizarre labels exist because of one notorious case.
At a U.S. prison, an inmate suffered some kind of mental health episode and decided to clean his… Chute with a toilet brush. That resulted in serious internal injuries.
Granted, this label will not prevent anyone undergoing a mental breakdown from doing something odd. Yet, it’s an excellent example of how these bizarre labels are always uncomfortably literal.
8. Vanishing Marker: ‘Don’t Sign Checks’
The full warning printed on W.H. Collins Company’s vanishing fabric markers reads: “The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents, as signatures will fade or disappear completely.” You can probably guess why this label is there.
Somebody grabbed the first pen they saw to sign a check, which then resulted in negligent payments and potential legal fallout. That, or somebody thought they could commit fraud with a vanishing check.
It’s really no surprise the company doesn’t want to get involved in such matters.
9. iPod Shuffle: ‘Do Not Eat’
One of the strangest warning labels ever printed must be this one from the manual for Apple’s iPod Shuffle. The document warns the reader to “not eat iPod Shuffle.”
If you’re too young to remember what the Shuffle was, it was a very small version of the iPod (which was an MP3 player). It may be that the warning was a tongue-in-cheek boast about how compact the device was.
That, or Apple’s executives were genuinely concerned that it was small enough for a child to swallow.
If you’d like to read more about odd rules that aren’t what they seem, check out the list on 7 strange laws that actually make a lot of sense.