- From lifting crime scene evidence to making pacts with the Devil, animals sure get up to no good.
Our pets can be naughty sometimes. They might shred a pillow, do their business on the floor, or swipe a snack they’re not supposed to have.
Some critters, however, commit more serious crimes. Believe it or not, animals have been found guilty of everything from sexual harassment to financial crimes — and even breaking the laws of nature itself.
Here are seven stories of animals who committed unusual crimes. The list stops short only of a murder most fowl.
Get it? Like if a bird… Fine, let’s just get to the stories.
1. The Prison Mule Cat
In 2013, the guards of a medium-security prison in Arapiraca, Brazil, saw a white stray cat traipsing about the facility. The kitty proved popular among both guards and prisoners, so it was allowed to stay.
One day, however, one guard noticed something unusual about the kitty. It had lengths of masking tape wrapped around its body.
The guards caught the animal and realized it wasn’t a cat at all, but a mule. Specifically, the kitty was transporting equipment someone had clearly acquired with a prison break in mind, such as a small saw, drill, cellphone, charger, memory card, and more.
It was impossible to determine which prisoner had taped the cat, so no one was punished. The kitty, however, was detained and taken to a local animal shelter.
Was losing the prison’s comfort cat worth it? We bet somebody got beat up over this.
2. Crow that Tampered with Evidence
A lot of stuff was going on in Vancouver, Canada, on May 24, 2016. A man had set a car on fire and threatened the police with a knife, so the cops had non-fatally shot the man and arrested him.
However, as they were putting the man in cuffs, a local crow called Canuck flapped to the scene. On the ground, he noticed something irresistibly shiny.
It was the knife the hooligan had just dropped. So, as crows are wont to do, Canuck picked the knife up and flew away.
To the cops, however, the knife was a valuable piece of evidence. An officer ended up chasing Canuck for a while before the bird decided the knife wasn’t worth the effort and dropped it.
3. World’s Slowest Burglary
Café Milagro is a small coffee shop in the town of Manual Antonio, in Costa Rica. In 2018, a burglar broke into the store.
A very, very slow burglar.
A sloth had somehow managed to bypass the café’s security alarm system and gotten into the store. Security camera footage from the time showed that it had climbed onto the counter and was approaching a blanket covering the cash register.
Unfortunately for the sloth, it slipped off the counter. As the hapless burglar fell face-first to the floor, it finally set off the security alarm.
The café owners were forgiving, however, and didn’t press charges against the sloth. That’s probably due to the boost in business they got after the security camera footage went viral.
4. A Pervert Kitty
Cats are known for bringing things home, such as dead mice or leaves (if they haven’t had luck hunting). Oscar, an old male cat from Southampton, however, had an eye for more questionable items.
Specifically, he liked children’s underwear.
In 2019, kids’ undies began disappearing off the clotheslines of the neighborhood where Oscar’s owner, Peter Weismantel, lives. Much to his shock, he one day discovered 10 pairs of underwear in Oscar’s stash in his yard.
He immediately called the police to report the stolen property. That was a good move, too, as if someone else had found them, Weismantel might’ve had some explaining to do.
“The officer I spoke to thought it was pretty amusing, but he could see why I was worried,” explained Weismantel.
5. Dug Den’s Avian Alert System
Vila Irma Dulce is a small community in Brazil that, sadly, has a drug problem. In 2019, the cops were preparing to raid the headquarters of a crack cocaine trafficking ring when they ran into the dealers’ alarm system.
That system consisted entirely of a very loud parrot. The criminals had apparently trained the bird to alert them to nearby cop cars by screaming, “Mom, the police!”
“He must have been trained for this. As soon as the police got close he started shouting,” an officer involved in the raid said at the time.
For its part in the drug trafficking operation, the parrot was apprehended and sent to a local zoo. It served a three-month sentence behind bars, learning to live in the wild, before being released back into nature.
6. Goldfish and Credit Card Fraud
In 2023, Japanese YouTuber Mutekimaru was running a bizarre challenge. He had built a system that allowed his pet goldfish to control and play a Pokémon game, which he streamed online.
One day, while the fish were playing unattended, the game crashed. However, the Nintendo Switch system running the game was still fine, and now the fish had free rein to do whatever they wanted with it.
They ended up logging into the Nintendo eShop and making a purchase using Mutekimaru’s credit card. He was able to get the purchase refunded later, but he learned not to allow the fish to game without keeping an eye on them.
7. The Satanic Rooster (or Chicken)
The year is 1474, and a bizarre scene is taking place in Basel, Switzerland. The local court is prosecuting a criminal case — but the defendant is a rooster.
The locals were accusing the rooster of the “heinous and unnatural crime of laying an egg.” At the end of the trial, the court found the rooster guilty of violating the laws of man, nature, and God alike.
According to modern scientific and medical knowledge, it’s likely that the rooster was actually a chicken. Chickens may develop male plumage and body structure as a result of certain ovarian tumors or hormonal imbalances.
Not that it mattered for the unfortunate bird. It, along with its egg, were burned on a pyre for being in league with Satan.