Family Secrets With Juicy Drama: Part One

  • What do you think about family secrets?

Family is hard and family secrets are harder. Do you have any family secrets you’re hiding?

Sweet Family Secrets:

My uncle served in Vietnam. While over there, his troop found a baby that had been orphaned or abandoned. My uncle was shipping back to Australia soon and wanted to adopt him, but my aunt said no. My uncle’s troop found a family to raise the baby, and that’s the story the whole family knows. The secret is that my uncle and some other guys from his troop stayed in contact with the family and the kid, sending them money every month to help raise him and then to help him go to university. Eventually they helped him and his adoptive family move to Australia in the late ’90s.


Some Secrets Last Forever Or Until…

When I was 5 years old (1988), Santa Clause left a Nintendo on our front porch. It was wrapped in newspaper, and my parents had no idea who gifted it to us. My dad, particularly, tried to figure it out. He was always suspicious that it had been a family friend. It was by far the best gift of the year, and we played it all the time throughout our childhood.

My dad died in 2004.

Last Christmas, my mom explained that she was the one who had bought it and surreptitiously placed it on the porch. My dad really liked to be in control of things and had forbidden the purchase. She knew better. She didn’t tell a soul for 30 years.

Bootlegging Grandma:

My grandma didn’t drive. I thought she couldn’t, but it was just never discussed. One day, no one would take me to the store. Finally I said I’d just ask Grandma, and my cousin chimed in with, ‘Grandma can’t drive.’ But Grandma said, ‘Oh, you bet your sweet ass I can drive. They just don’t let me!’

“Years later, my mom explained that during Prohibition, Grandma bootlegged alcohol for moonshiners. She was so successful at it that when the moonshiners were finally busted, her license was suspended by the state. Later in life, she was told she could petition for it back, but it came with an admission of guilt or some such. She told ’em to go to hell.

Cooking Hack Family Secrets:

My grandmother recently died. She was famous in our town for her amazing cooking and catering. Notably, her gravy was absolutely amazing. So delicious. She had a heart attack several years ago, and her near-death experience convinced her to share some of her secret recipes with me — all except her gravy recipe. When she died this spring, I was going through her pantry and found an entire bucket of KFC gravy mix. She was literally using KFC gravy mix as a base to make her incredible gravy. Huge scandal.

There are more where these came from. Follow the link to read Family Secrets With Juicy Drama: Part Two.