1The Drunk Man Who Woke to Find that He'd Bought a 10 Foot Python that was Trying to Eat his Friend
He bundled the creature into a cage after covering him with a blanket. However, his brush with the predator still ended painfully when he took him to a reptile shop and landed in the dock for receiving stolen goods.
Matthews, who lives in Coventry, had planned to sell the animal for a profit to fund a guttering business. But when he went to the shop, suspicious staff called police. It turned out Bruce was one of nine snakes that were stolen from David Chance, 24.
Magistrates gave Matthews an eight-week prison sentence suspended for two years, ordered him to pay a fine, and placed him under eight weeks of supervision. (Source)
2The Man Who Woke Up with his Fling's Name Carved on His Shoulder with a Stanley Knife
3The Drunk Chinese Man Who was Almost Shipped to the U.S. After Mistaking a Container at the Port for a B&B
The eastern China resident somehow managed to mistake a giant container for his room at a local B&B, passing out inside. Waking up the following day, Wu realized his grave error and began phoning everyone he knew for help.
Unbeknownst to Wu, the container was exactly one hour away from being placed on a cargo ship bound for Los Angeles — a two-week trip.
Even after Wu managed to get in touch with police and conveyed his predicament, he still faced a serious race against the clock, as he was unable to identify the container that he was in.
Happily, thanks in large part to banging noises he made against the sea can, Wu was ultimately found in a container stacked some 60 feet above the ground. (Source)
4The Drunk Man Who Woke Up with a Penis Tattoo on His Leg
The 27-year-old Swedish man, known as Joel, claims that he recalls little of the night that led to the body art attack.
According to what can be patched together, he told a group of friends at a fast-food joint that he wanted to get a tattoo after admiring one on a friend's finger. Luckily, or unluckily, there was was a tattoo artist in the restaurant who agreed to Joel's wish.
Despite the problem, Joel said he has no anger towards the tattoo artist, since he claims that he asked for the tattoo. (Source)
5The Man Who Passed Out Drunk and Woke Up with No Penis
Dominican man Geraldo Ramos told local TV station Noticias Sin that he passed out drunk and woke up with no penis.
The 64-year-old man from Santiago says he has no clue where his penis went, but neighbors told the station that Ramos was attacked by a dog when he was drunk. Ramos, however, has no recollection of this. The alleged dog has not been found.
He now has to wear a catheter and was filmed recuperating at his home. (Source)
6The Drunk Man Who Fell Asleep in Norway and Woke Up in Sweden
The Norwegian man - whose identity has not been revealed - had a few too many drinks while enjoying a night out in Oslo and decided to take a nap in his car, but his vehicle was stolen by two women while he was asleep. They proceeded to drive it to Gothenburg, Sweden with him in the back before dumping him.
The guy phoned the police and reported that his car had been stolen, so they gave him a bed for the night. Then the next day, he was walking to the train station and luckily spotted his car on the road.
Police arrested the two women, who were held under suspicion of taking a vehicle without the owner's consent, and brought them to the station for testing.
The man was later given the keys and allowed to drive the car back to Oslo. (Source)
7The Drunk Man Who Got a Full Body Scan After Passing Out on an Airport Conveyer Belt
8The Drunk Man Who Woke Up to the News that He had Murdered 70,000 Chickens While Drunk
Joshua Shelton is special, because he killed 70,000 chickens! To clarify, Shelton, 21, didn't actually kill the chickens individually, as that would be insane. He is accused of drinking so heavily at the farm that he couldn't tell the difference between a light switch and the circuit breakers connected to three chicken houses. So he allegedly cut the breakers, depriving the chickens of food, water, and cooling fans. Farmer Mark Shockley found all but 100 chickens dead the next morning.
Shelton was found lying in the houses' power control shed, wearing only a T-shirt and boxers and smelling of alcohol. He had reportedly been at the home for a small party that Shockley's daughter was holding and passed out in the control room. (Source)
9The Drunk Guy Who Passed Out and Accidentally Got a Free 100-Mile Train Ride
* The Hangover is a comedy that hit the big screen in 2009 with much success.