So discovered a Georgia ex-con who, soon after being released from prison for bank robbery, allegedly hurled bricks through glass windows at federal buildings in 2011 so that he would be sent back behind bars.
Lance Brown reportedly claimed that he was homeless and hungry, so he would rather spend time behind bars in a federal prison than remain on the streets.
Brown faced up to another 10-year term in the big house … which he probably considers his actual house.
2To Quit Smoking
Etta Lopez, 31, allegedly walked up to a sheriff's deputy as he was leaving his shift at the Sacramento County Jail and proceeded to slap him, completely unprovoked.
Lopez was promptly placed under arrest and tossed in the can -- just as she reportedly wanted.
Lopez reportedly wanted to get arrested and jailed so she could stop smoking.
It's a good thing nothing can ever get smuggled into the U.S prison system.
Set a police station on fire and go join him, of course.
That's what two Canadian teens allegedly did on a “Bad Ass Sunday,” which are days designated to do something, well, bad ass.
The 13 and 14-year-olds were detained on suspicion of arson after allegedly lighting up a Royal Canadian Mounted Police station in a community in Manitoba, Canada.
The teens reportedly did it so they could be flown to a Winnipeg youth jail to see their friend, who was also being held for arson.
That's what friends are for.
Vanity bathrooms, mini-refrigerators, flat-screen televisions -- no, this isn't your apartment, it's Halden, a shiny new prison in this Scandinavian country that has been branded the most humane prison on the globe.
Some cells also share a kitchen and a dining room, and don't forget about the designer furniture and the indoor basketball court with a climbing wall. It's better than your local community college.
Also, if you've always wanted to take a cooking or music class but never had the time or money, Halden can meet your needs. But before you take either course there, make sure to take advantage of their outdoor jogging trails with a band of thieves or murderers and enjoy nature. Take a break at one of the several stone chessboards for a game or two amid the beautiful trees,as well. Ah.
So, commit a bank heist or two in Norway and then kick back at Halden.
That's exactly what undocumented immigrants Marco Saavredra and Viridiana Martinez did -- intentionally. The twentysomethings were so passionate about immigration issues that they decided the best way to make a difference was to publicize immigrant detainee stories that were going on inside the United States' prison system.
What was the best way to do that? They got arrested, of course.
To get thrown behind bars, the young activists displayed their undocumented status to cops in Florida last year. Once in the system, Saavredra and Martinez were able to talk to other immigration detainees, gather their information, and begin their story-telling process. This eventually led to the release of one woman and impacted dozens of other cases.
Helluva way to tell a story.
Kimberly Bivens, a 49-year-old woman from McSherrystown, Pennsylvania, intentionally got herself arrested after she broke into the home that her ex-husband won in their divorce case. She was convicted of trespassing.
Furthermore, the former ice cream stand operator even went so far as to send letters to her husband's divorce attorney and her county's district attorney's office detailing her intentions to illegally set foot back in her old home.
Bivens faced jail time, fines, and an order to never return to her ex-husband's house.
Spite -- it doesn't do a body good.
Morrocco, 46, an ex-con from Amherst, New York who suffers from leukemia, couldn't afford health insurance upon his release from prison in late 2012 after serving 20 years for felony drug conspiracy. He needed it desperately, so he did what he had to in order to get it; he shoplifted with the intent of getting arrested.
Morrocco knew he could get the healthcare he needed in prison; all he had to do was violate parole.
Nothing is certain in life except for death, taxes, and aggravation from the U.S. healthcare system.
8To Detox from Heroin
Which is exactly why 20-year-old Ohio resident and heroin addict Dillon Stames allegedly got himself arrested in the summer of 2012.
Police said Stames violated a temporary protection order when he visited his mother's home in the wee hours one night and was promptly arrested after she dialed 911.
Stames reportedly sat and waited for police and told them that 30 days behind bars would help him get spun out of his heroin addiction.
9Just Can't Take It Anymore
This quote from the 1976 film Network may have been the attitude of a woman from Hamilton City, CA when she blazed a pile of telephone books and told firefighters that she wanted to be arrested because “she could not handle it anymore,” according to the Glenn County Transcript.
The cops arrived at 36-year-old Manuela Gonzalez's home to find her ranting and raving in her kitchen while sporting a bra and pants.
She was handcuffed, but allegedly continued to struggle, kicking at sheriff's deputies and even causing one to cut his finger. She was booked on suspicion of resisting arrest and battery on a peace officer.
Sometimes you feel like a nut...
Written by screenname rcress232, who, at the time of his posting on January 25, 2011, was between the ages of 41 and 45, this post goes on to detail how, since boyhood, he has always wished to be placed under arrest by a female officer. He wants to be handcuffed and searched, walked to her squad car, and driven to the station where he would be booked by her and another female officer and thrown into the clinker, only to be released hours later without any charges.
The contributor even goes so far as to actually ask the site community if anyone knows a female officer who would go through with this and help him achieve his dream.
There are probably numerous other sites that would help this man find his fantasy.