15 Funniest Police Blotters

Misc
261,044 views
Tags: police blotters
     

"Police receive a report of a newborn infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito."



"Caller reports hitting an intruder in the head with an axe. Notes that intruder 'was in the mirror.'"



"A man came to the Sheriff's Department to 'find out how to legally kill' a person who was harassing him."
He didn't want to break any laws or anything...



"A caller reported at 7:14pm that someone was on a porch yelling 'help' from a residence on Bank Street. Officers responded and learned the person was calling a cat that was named 'Help.'"
What idiot names his cat 'Help?!' Where's the dog? Fire? Fire!



"The Learning Center reports a man standing at his window for hours, making parents nervous... Police ID the subject as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Schwarzenegger."



"The ducks refused medical treatment and left the area"



"The man said that he was sitting home alone masturbating (...) when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to video tape him"



A speedy turtle on a crime spree?



Looking for a trespasser, police enter a building and call out, "Marco..." Police found the suspect when he responded, "Polo"



"Dispatch, report of Swanson chicken pot-pie running east on Clay Street"
If it ain't Swanson's chicken pot-pie, it won't run



"was observed in the middle of a roadway wearing only tennis shoes and an adult diaper (...) Neubert was also directing traffic and performing martial arts with a stick"



"a second teen threw a snowball, striking the clerk in the chest"



"Two man came into the store, loaded birthday bags with "Have a nice day" yellow faces on them with 52 tubes of vaginal anti-fungal cream..."



"an unknown suspect threw a condom a the victim hitting him in the face"



"An Edgewood man reported recently that his wife had gone missing... some 18 months ago."
We'd guess the dishes must have been piling up...


From the Web
You Might Also Like...
Comments
  Best this Month
80,177 views
  Best Ever
332,280 views
  Best Ever
750,615 views
  Best Ever
469,771 views
  Best Ever
327,972 views
  Best Ever
501,811 views
NSFW / 18+
ODDEE'S NEW WEBSITE
PROVIDED BY HUFF POST
Weird News
GET ODDEE BY E-MAIL
Subscribe to our newsletter:
This Week at Oddee
  Today
13,920 views
NSFW / 18+
  Yesterday
22,384 views
  Tuesday
22,830 views
  Monday
31,273 views
  Sunday
24,450 views
  Saturday
27,746 views
From the Web