Meet the World’s Dumbest Criminals: from a robber who decided to burglarize a house full of karate blackbelts, to another who called to check if there was money in the cash register before the crime.
1The Robber who tried to rob a bank that had already closed
A bank robber was arrested in Liberty, Pennsylvania, USA, after police said he tried to rob a bank that had already closed for the afternoon. Christopher Allen Koch, 28, arrived at Citizens & Northern Bank around 11.40am and sat inside his car in the bank’s parking lot for 20 minutes. But Koch had not read the opening hours, posted on the bank’s door and the bank closed at noon. He tried to enter the bank at 12.01 pm – a minute too late. He was wearing ski mask and gloves and had a gun. Employees inside spotted Koch and got a license plate number that led police to him. Koch was charged with criminal attempted robbery and possessing instruments of a crime.
2The Robber who decided to burglarize a house full of karate blackbelts
Manizales, Colombia may not sound like a capital of karate, but the Pan-American karate champion Cristian Garces happens to live there, along with her instructors and fellow karate-peeps. So when a burglar decided to invade his house in 2008 while every single one of Manizales most bad-ass appendage launchers was present, they sprung into action and beat the shit out of him before he could scream “Auxilio!”
The thief already had a bag and a laptop computer, two digital cameras and other items of value that he left behind before attempting to flee but was apprehended by residents until police arrived. “I don’t think the thief was eager to continue robbing here, he was very scared,” said Garces.
3The Robber who tried to fool police by playing dead at a funeral home
On 2008, a burglar broke into a funeral home in Burjassot, a small town just outside Valencia and tried to fool police by playing dead, but two things gave him away. First, he breathed. Second, he wore grungy clothes rather than the Sunday best of those settling in for eternal rest.
Neighbors living nearby alerted police when they heard the front door of the business being forced open in the middle of the night Police officers arrived with the owner, and eventually found the suspect lying on a table in a glassed-in chamber used for viewings of deceased people during wakes. The suspect’s name was not released. Police said he had served jail time in the past for robbery.
4The Robber who called to check if there was money in the cash register before the crime
On 2008, police charged Daniel Glen, 40, with robbing a convenience store in Windsor, Ontario, after he called ahead to ask the clerk how much money was in the cash register before showing up. The clerk alerted police, who arrested Glen nearby. Canwest News Service reported Glen was a suspect in two similar incidents where the thief called ahead to make sure the clerk had the money bagged and ready for him.
5The Burglar who wrote his own name on the crime scene
An 18-year-old burglar who vandalized a children’s campsite building was caught because he wrote his name on a wall at the scene, a court has heard. Peter Addison, of Heaton Mersey, Stockport, and his friend Mark Ridgeway of Poynton, Cheshire, smashed crockery and let off fire extinguishers. There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit. Apart from writing his own name in black marker pen at the Toc H centre in Adlington, Cheshire, Addison also left his gang’s name on the wall, “The Adlington Massiv!”.
6The Robber who was defeated by a 95-year-old woman
Armed only with a screwdriver, a 95-year-old woman in a wheel chair kept a burglar from breaking into her home by repeatedly stabbing his hand.
It was 3 a.m. when a 95-year-old Bartlesville woman heard somebody break the glass on her front door and push the door open. When a hand came inside and tried to unlock the door, she stabbed it. Again and again. The woman would not leave the door for fear the man would break in while she was calling for help. When police arrived, they found the bloody suspect passed out on the front porch with dozens of stab wounds to his lower arms and hands.The suspect, 46-Year-Old Robert Horsley, is in jail facing one count of first-degree burglary.
7The Robber who tripped and stabbed himself with the very knives he was stealing
A man running from a western Michigan store with stolen hunting knives hidden in his pants tripped, fell and stabbed himself in the stomach. The man had put about 300 US dollars worth of hunting knives in his waistband and tried to leave the store, but Meijer employees confronted him and a scuffle followed, he then fell and was stabbed by the knives he had hidden in his clothing.
The suspect was hospitalized after the attempted theft from a Meijer Inc. superstore in the US city of Grand Rapids and is expected to face a misdemeanor shoplifting charge, police say.
8The Robber who drove a stolen car to court
A 37-year-old man was charged with stealing a Lexus SUV after he drove it to court the day a jury decided whether to convict him in an unrelated auto theft charge.
Police were suspicious after watching the San Francisco hairstylist walk to the car, parked in front of the courthouse, with keys in hand. The car also attracted attention as it had several Yorkshire Terriers mulling around it. The man was charged with receiving a stolen vehicle, receiving stolen property and charges of animal cruelty for leaving the dogs unattended in the vehicle.
Meanwhile, the jury convicted the man of the original auto theft charge. He was charged with possession of a Porsche Carrera, valued at $125,000, that had been stolen from a San Anselmo home.
9The Burglar who stole, got drunk and got caught
A burglar who pinched a bottle of expensive champagne to celebrate after stealing money and jewellery was caught after he parked his car to sleep it off.Police were called out by worried passers-by who saw the 37-year-old man slumped behind the wheel of a car at the side of the road in Dusseldorf, Germany.
Officers who woke him up checked his ID and found he was wanted for a string of robberies.A police spokesman said: “The officers couldn’t believe their luck when they found out who he was.He even had the stolen goods from his latest robbery with him in the car. And we can also got him for drink driving as well.”
10The Robber who broke into the home of a sword-wielding Olympic fencing ace
A burglar in Hungary climbed over a fence to rob a house only to be confronted by a sword-wielding Olympic fencing ace. Virgine Ujlaky, 23, was practicing her swordplay when she saw Pal Nagy, 43, clambering in through a window of her house in a posh suburb of Budapest.
Within seconds and a few swift slashes of the sword the crook was pinned against the wall, with the blade against his throat as the swordswoman reached for the phone and called police. They arrested the villan 20 minutes later, who had to be treated by paramedics for shock. Ujlaky said: “I wasn’t scared when I saw him. It was good practice as I have a competition coming up this week.”