1Poisonous Brownies Offered as a Fake Apology
It's so brilliantly awful that it makes our list at number one. A 14-year-old girl from Brisbane, Australia made a gesture of apology to two teenage brothers whom she had teased the day before by baking them some brownies. It turns out, however, that the “apology” was a ruse - the brownies were filled with toxic household chemicals. Fortunately, the sweets tasted so bad that the children spat them out. “I hope you die,” the girl was later quoted as saying; she was given 8 months probation for the deed.
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2Jihadists Apologize for Cutting Off the Wrong Person's Head
Militant Islamist rebels intended to celebrate the beheading of a rival fighter by posting the grisly deed on the web. But when the video was uploaded, it was quickly discovered that it was not a fighter in the Syrian army but a fellow rebel from a friendly sect. Embarrassed, the group posted a video apology asking for “understanding and forgiveness.”
3Pete Rose Sells Apologies for $299
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4US Buries an Apology for the Treatment of Native Americans in a Spending Bill
5Lululemon Apology Angers Women in Yoga Pants
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6Newspaper Issues an Apology for a Negative Review of The Gettysburg Address
Just in time for the 150th anniversary of The Gettysburg Address by Abraham Lincoln, Harrisburg's Patriot-News finally apologized for dismissing it as “silly remarks” days after they were first spoken in 1863. Since then, it has become one of the most famous speeches in US history, with its memorable opening "Four score and seven years ago..." The Patriot-News regrets the error," the paper deadpanned.
7Dominos Says “So Sorry” About Making Good Pizza
8Alec Baldwin's Non-Apology for Calling His Daughter a “Pig”
Alec Baldwin has been apologizing for one stupid outburst after another for decades. But the true topper was when a voicemail message that he left for his 11-year-old daughter in which he calls her, among other things, “a thoughtless pig” was uploaded to the web. It took a spokesperson a couple of weeks to issue the following statement: "Although Alec acknowledges that he should have used different language in parenting his child, everyone who knows him privately knows what he has been put through for the past six years,” attempting to downplay his awful behavior and inferring that it was her fault. He should use different language? Why not try "I'm sorry."
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9Emperor Henry IV's Hollow Apology to Pope Gregory VII